Jom kita jam....

Perth has been wonderful to those who saw its beauty. Only problem with Perth while the housemates were there was jamming studio. Not that they do not have any jamming studio rather the studios there expect the musicians to bring their instruments there to setup and jam. Being the students residing there temporary, bringing our own music instruments were not exactly possible. And because of that, Je and Mr. Chan were not allowed to jam... that was almost unbearable..

After returning from Perth, we thought we can finally go jamming just like good ol' times. But due to our busy schedule and all, it wasn't possible. Somehow, we couldn't find the time to meet up at the appointed time to jam our hearts away.

Until...

Je: Wei, I can't stand it anymore... someone better call for a jamming session!!
Manson: Eh! Not that I dowan mmm kay... I free, you not free... when you free, Nigel not free..
Je: Just have to find a time to meet. No choice. Rusty d la the fingers..
Manson: Ok ok... Let me call Nigel.

*Ring... ring*

Nigel: Ello!!
Manson: Hey... wassup man!! Apa buat?
Nigel: *in a blur voice* Who's this?
Manson: Lansi.. basket! It's me la Manson.
Nigel: Sorry la.. how I know. What can I do for you?
Manson: Jamming la apa lagi? I book for this Saturday night boleh?
Nigel: Eh I not sure yet la but will try and make it..
Manson: When only you can confirm? That Je jari gatal.. wanna go jamming. But we must practice first la. When we get there, terus play only just like good ol' times.
Nigel: Aiyah... no need to practice wan la... Just choose those songs that only requires me to play few chords la like C, Am, F, G.
Manson: Eh, no improvement arr?? How can?? So bila mau practice?
Nigel: I confirm with you tomorrow can? Who else coming?
Manson: Only three of us playing mar. Who else you want us to bring? Hot chicks?
Nigel: How I know. Maybe you bringing along some audience? Anyway, let you know tomorrow.

Je: So so?? Macam mana?
Manson: Should be ok la. No prob.
Je: Please provide me with a list of songs. And please practice.
Manson: Not a problem. We'll sure practice wan. Leave it to me to handle it.

And so Saturday finally came and Nigel has agreed to join in playing the bass....

At the jam studio....

Manson: Lets get it started now...
Je: Play wat arr?
Nigel: Start simple la...
Manson: *Krrrannnggg* Ahheemm... *clears throat* Testing testing.... *Starts singing* Sweet dreams are made of this.... Who am I to disagree... Travel the world in seven seas.......
Je: *dong cha... dong dong cha*
Nigel: *tom tom tom tom

It appeared that everyone was playing their own 'song' at their own pace... And the best part was, the playing continued with few more songs. So you can imagine the loud noise and not the music..

Je: Wei wei stop!! Apa main? Apa nyanyi? Lu olang ala plaktic arr?
Manson: Hehe!
Nigel: Hehe!!
Je: Apasal?
Manson: I got practice on my own lor...
Je: On your own?
Manson: Nigel not free also.. He too busy wanking himself...
Je: Wei... shy man. Got few fellas watching us from outside. Some more can hear our playing and singing skills... Darn shy man!! Play something else la. Something we very familiar. I will survive la!
Manson: Ok ok. *chang chang chang* First I was afraid I was petrified.....
Nigel: *tom tom tom tom*
Je: *dong cha dong dong dong cha*

Je was seen giving thumb's up with her drumsticks to Nigel and Mr. Chan as this song finally kicks off as after so many songs, finally this one song kinda saved the day for all three musicians. Only problem is, time is up and everyone has to leave the jamming studio. What a waste of time and effort. This is the problem if we go unprepare for something like this and end up embarassing ourselves.

Je: Mana sekarang?
Manson: Yum cha la apa lagi? Or you prefer to stay here and continue with the embarassment?
Nigel: Hahaha!
Manson: Eh! It's all your fault ok Nigel. Stop bonking and come for practice ok...
Je: Next jamming session pls pls practice... Or we go elsewhere to jam.. Darn shy ok..
Nigel: I alreayd say few chords mar... You dowan to listen...

Meanwhile, Juls was at home having a tea party. She's not really into jamming. At least that's what we thought. Instead of joining us at the studio. She decided to have her own tea party with a few fellas. Being her friends, we fully understand that she needs time alone to be with herself and her err... friends as we also take time off of each other. Too much of something is bad huh? But not for Juls. She seriously prefers to stay at home playing tea party with her dolls, which she calls friends than to join us at the jam studio with real friends.... Bunch of freaks you must be wondering... but that makes all of us special in a somewhat weird way...

Till next time...

I'm ex-housemate #2 signing off - Take care of yourself... and each other

Horiday!

Bangcock here I cum!

Watch out for pics folks..

ex- housemate #1 will be back..

Till then Sawaaaadeeee...

Sri Lapisan is BACK!!

Since my “Sri Lapisan” experience is the talk of the month in our blog (just about every blog Housemate No 1 & 2 post, there’s just a “Sri Lapisan” there..)

So I was thinking how its gonna be if all of us were in this “business” together?

Now, being in this business not as the owner or the director but as the sales person. This is how its gonna be…

Team Leader : Mr Chan (since I’m the only one with the experience here..sad to say..)
My Team Member:
1) Juls
2) Je
3) Nigel
4) EJ
5) Kenny

Location to cover: Subang Jaya, Kelana Jaya, Phileo Damasara, Shah Alam and PJ (basically all of our current working area).Location specification and target audience: Food court, mamak stalls, Chinese food stalls, offices, shot lots, shop houses, passer-by on the street, every Tom Dick and Harry, Ali and Siti, Muthu and Letchumi.

Transport: Nissan Sunny 120Y. Color: white
- Air conditioning = Not as expected. Please wind down the window
- Smoking or non smoking = Smoke
- Ashtray = Anywhere u please

Driver: Mr Chan
Passenger seat: Nigel
Back seat: Juls, Je, EJ, Kenny

What’s inside the car: Us and 6 cartons of Sri Lapisan cake.
- 1 carton = 30 boxes of cakes
- 6 cartons = 180 boxes of cakes

Cake Description:
Layer CakeFlavor = 3 different flavor ( pandan, chocolate, original )
Condition of cake: chill and non chill
Cake originality = said to be from Indonesia
Selling price = Market: 14.90
Selling price = Now: 9.90
Free gifts = pisau plastic.
Anymore free gifts = Buy 10 free 1
Catalogue = Yes… and its FREE.

Now besides the above info, you will have to “prospect” according to the script. The script sounds something like this:

“Hi sir, good morning (and / or afternoon). Don’t worry we are not selling anything. We are agents from (whatever company) and would like to give you this catalogue. YESSS..we are giving it to you!!..FREE. Have a look at it.”

Proceed to another potential “prospect”
Repeat the above.

Return to the previous prospect.

“Hi sir, so as you can see on your FREE catalogue, we are selling these cakes as display here (show them the cake that your holding). We are selling 3 flavors today, pandan, chocolate and the original flavor. Here…touch it…pls…touch it..(insist them to touch the cake)…YES its cold. And for today we are having special offers.. and today’s the last day. We are selling one cake for only RM 9.90. Now if you would buy the cake from Giant or Carrefour or Tesco, it will cost you around RM 14.90 and the good news is..the cake comes with a FREE plastic knife! Wow you can eat the cake right now!!..

So how sir? Only RM 9.90. You can buy for your colleague or family at home… you children would love cakes… Now if you buy all the 3 flavors from me, I will give u another for FREE and best of all…. You will have 4 knifes!!..wow..

so how sir? So how?”

Now the trick here is..keep talking! As fast as you can. Do not let them to have the chance to speak..! Persuasion is the key to success!

But if the customer ignores you totally, take back the catalogue and move on.

Alright! Now that we’re all set…let’s roll out!!

The temperature: 32 degrees – sunny.
As we are walking towards to a potential location..

Juls: wah lan neh…nia sing..damm hot wei…
Kenny: nehmind nehmind…I blow air to you ok??..*fuuuuuuuu…*
Juls: wah lan….ur sliver lar !!...you’re making it worse!!!...now so sticky sticky lar….!!!!

Je: (cannot been seen on sight as she is hiding in some shadow)…
EJ: dude…have you seen Je? Damm it…these cakes are heavy

Nigel: ma hai…my hair koyak lar…spend hours to have this style now became wet look!

In a chinese restaurant.

Je: Hi sir, good ….
Man: no thanks..
Je: ..good morning.. Don’t worry we are not selling..
Man: no thanks..
Je: …anything. We are agents from (whatever company) and would like to give you this catalogue…
Man: …
Je: YESSS..we are giving it to you!!..FREE. Have a look at it…
Man: no thanks…
Je: *sob sob* pls..let me finish talking..
Juls: ma ka hai… now u wanna take or not??...its FREE lar !!..come je…let’s go..

Nigel: Hi ma’am, good morning ….
Lady: mm..moi..mm..moi (duwan in Cantonese)..
Nigel: mm moi meh??..mm moi meh??..ngor tou mei kong!!..
Lady: mm moi..mm moi…
Nigel: mm moi meh…??
Lady: meh..??
Nigel: .. MEH ??..
Lady: meh..??
Nigel: .. MEH ??..
Lady: meh..??
Nigel: .. MEH ??..
Lady: meh..??
Nigel: .. MEH ??..

Meh = “what?” in cantonese..

Juls: Hi sir, good morning. Don’t worry we are not selling anything. We are agents from (whatever company) and would like to give you this catalogue. YESSS..we are giving it to you!!..FREE. Have a look at it…
Man: errr…I ..
Juls: Have a look at it…
Man: no but I’m..
Juls: so as you can see on your FREE catalogue, we are selling these cakes as display here. We are selling 3 flavors today, pandan, chocolate and the original flavor. Here…touch it…pls…touch it..

YES its cold. And for today we are having special offers.. and today’s the last day. We are selling one cake for only RM 9.90.

Man: no you see..i..
Juls: (absolutely giving him no chance to say anything!!) Now if you would buy the cake from Giant or Carrefour or Tesco, it will cost you around RM 14.90 and the good news is..the cake comes with a FREE plastic knife! Wow you can eat the cake right now!!..
Man: RM 9.90??..that’s expensive..
Juls: (absolutely ignoring any remarks the man is making) so how sir? Only RM 9.90. You can buy for your colleague or family at home… you children would love cakes… Now if you buy all the 3 flavors from me, I will give u another for FREE and best of all…. You will have 4 knifes!!..wow..

so how sir? So how?

Man: no..no thanks..i dun like cake..
Juls: no sir…this one special one…only RM 9.90..today last day de..
Man: no..really I’m not interested..
Juls: I talk so much dee now u say duwan…hai mai wan yeh ar??...( hai mai wan yeh ar = “trying to play games with me” in Cantonese)
Man: ….( nervous )
Kenny: Julie jie…meh sii ar?...SING NGAN CHAI (four eye dude)…HAI MAI WAN YEH ARR??..
Man: okok..i buy I buy…
Juls: ok sir but we are having special of the special promotion now.. if you buy 3 cakes..we give u another one for FREE…so..its 4 cakes for the price of 3..
Man: thanks..i’ll …I’ll..just ..just..have one…
Juls: …..
Kenny: why Julie jie??..is this sing ngan chai giving u trouble again??...HAI MAI WAN YEHH ARRRRR??..
Man: I’ll take 3 pls..

EJ: ..*talking to himself..* why so stupid walk around here and there to sell lar..* setting up his own stall in front of gambling outlets like Magnum, TOTO, and Tai Ma Cai..*

EJ: oi oi…mari marii….kek lapis…hanya RM 9.90..FREE PISAU!!..
Man: eh eh..kek ape nie??
EJ: ahh..ahh..mari mari..tengok catalog dulu…haaaa…mari…..aku buat demo sikit..
Man: eh eh…ada demo ..jom tengok..
EJ: ah…tuan tuan puan puan…ini kek lapis..HA!!..bukan biasa punya kek lapis..!!....ini kek LAPISAN!!...HAAAA…bukan lapis..tapi LAPISAN!!..nampak beza nya??
crowd: wooo…..

EJ: harrr…..ada sejuk..ada tak sejuk…ada 3 perisa…pandan..warna hijau..chocolate..warna chocolate…perisa original..warna original..
Man: macam mane mau makan?
EJ: HAAAA….kalau abang nie beli..i tunjuk sama u cara makan..
Man: boleh test dulu ke?
EJ: eh..u beli nombor kat Magnum boleh test test itu nombor dulu ar??..
Man: macam nie berapa satu?
EJ: hanya RM 9.90 satu!...murah…hari nie last day aku buat promosi…HAA…bukan selalu I ada kat sini…

Nigel: ( running towards EJ, pretending to get more stocks from him..) HAAAA..EJ EJ…
EJ: tuan tuan puan puan..tunggu kejap!..yea dude??
Nigel: eh I got one customer over there just tasted one of the cake and now wanna buy 50 boxes from us…how many u got there??..i’m short of 25..
EJ: I got 30 here….
Nigel: ok..pass to me the 25 first…( and off goes Nigel )

Man: wahhh…laku arr…
EJ: *AHHHEEEEMMMM*….YEAH…mari mari…u nampak tak??..harr…sudah angkat 25 ..tinggal saja 5 kotak…
Man: okok..i beli lima kotak…
Man 2: boss…I bagi 100..u bagi I semua tu..
Man 3: 150..!!
Man 4: 155..!!
Man 2: 200..!!
Crowd: wwoooooo…

EJ: 200 sekali….200 dua kali….200…
Man 4: pukimak..250..!!!
Crowd: wooo…..*clap clap clap clap*…
EJ: 250…250…do I hear 300??...do I hear a 300??..

Lady: 450!!! (it was Je)
Crowd: wahhhhhhh…….
Man 3: 500!!..
EJ: SOLD! At 500!!

Well as you’re wondering that everybody is working, where the hell am i? Being the team leader of course, I will be having my tea at some nearby stall.

Now let’s back track a little.. back to the script and do some justification to it :

“Hi sir, good morning (and / or afternoon). Don’t worry we are not selling anything. We are agents from (whatever company) and would like to give you this catalogue. YESSS..we are giving it to you!!..FREE. Have a look at it.”

“Hi sir, so as you can see on your FREE catalogue, we are selling these cakes as display here (show them the cake that your holding). We are selling 3 flavors today, pandan, chocolate and the original flavor. Here…touch it…pls…touch it..(insist them to touch the cake)…YES its cold. And for today we are having special offers.. and today’s the last day. We are selling one cake for only RM 9.90. Now if you would buy the cake from Giant or Carrefour or Tesco, it will cost you around RM 14.90 and the good news is..the cake comes with a FREE plastic knife! Wow you can eat the cake right now!!..

First, we are telling them that we are not selling anything but would like to give out a free catalogue and the next thing we are telling them that we are selling cake. And as for the catalogue, pf coz its free, who the hell would wanna pay for a catalogue?

And for today we are having special offers.. and today’s the last day = that’s what they all said. Come back tomorrow, they are still around, next week too, the following month too.

RM 9.90 for a stupid cake? I did not come across any “Sri Lapisan” cake in Giant, Carrefour or Tesco.

Free knife? Make it big deal out of it as if it’s a good bargain?

If I would to buy a cake for my colleagues and / or family, I’ll go to some proper cake shop. And seriously, I have seen the cake. Its half the size of the bloody box! For 9.90! it’s a con job. A friggin’ scam! And yes…it really comes with a small plastic knife.

I'm Mr Chan signing off - ah Ju Ju...you dun understand..Ju Ju..

Stone Elephant

This blog is created by Je and Mr. Chan: Inspired by Batu Gajah (Stone Elephant)

This is a fiction blog. It is NOT based on our true life experience. The reason of it being created is that we need some entertainment to keep our blog going while waiting for Juls to blog.

It all started when I was chatting with Je (Ex-housemate No.2) on MSN.

You know how everyone of us (well, if you dun, too bad..) have a "wish list" of our own. A “wish list” is a list, created by your good self, on the things that you want to have in the near future. Let it be some thing u wanted to buy or some thing that you want to do.

As I was comparing my list with Je’s, there are many items and / or things we wanted to do, both I and Je have in common.

Both of us have this plan in mind that we would like to have our very own jamming studio in our home – not that I am getting a house with Je, more like she would like to have a jamming studio in her own house and I would like to have one for own house.

Having a drum set, guitars, amps, systems, sound proof bla bla.. having friends over for a couple of beers and some jamming would be lovely.

Besides of wanting to have my own jamming studio in my house, I was suggesting to Je that if my house is big enuff, with additional land (something like a corner lot – but I guess it has to be a bungalow), I would build a half court futsol pitch on it !!..

so cool..!!You’ll definitely need a huge house or extra land for this..yea I know…but hey..its just my wishing..again..you’ll never know..

Je: property in balakong is quite reasonable
Me: Balakong??!! Will you come and visit me if my house is in balakong?

Je: hahaha…ahh…ermmm…hmmm….fren fren will come one…once in a year lar…during Chinese New Year

How great is that..!!...once a year..so I’ve concluded that balakong is a sad place..well..at least for me to be at.As we do not meet up with Juls as often as me and Je meet up for tea.. it is as though that Juls lives in Balakong..

Je: balakong?? Juls can go stay in stone elephant la

Stone Elephant (Batu Gajah)… please dun ask me..i dun know this place existed..!! But anyway.. it’s the hometown of Kenny (Jul’s soon to be husband). So people..please have some respect mmm kay??..

So as me and Je was imagining how life’s gonna be in Batu Gajah and what Juls ( the slick city gal ) will be doing if she would to move to Batu Gajah… we naturally talk about the home town like as though it was erm… hmmm… a very interesting place to live in.

(this might sound like an insult to Batu Gajah but sorry lar bro Kenny, we do this merely out of boredom and thought that it is funny… cheers !!.. well..if ya wanna take revenge by insulting my home town…. France… pls go ahead.. :p)

Batu Gajah, a quiet small town, many trees..many camels and cow, some padi field…some rock statue of elephant ( ahhh…so this is why its call Batu (Stone in malay) Gajah (Elephant in malay)).

No tar road, no electricity, no water ( you gotta get it from the public well if there’s any left ) kids running around butt naked … folks playin’ gasing (whatever it is in English – try google “gasing” ) and wau (malay kite) – the only source of entertainment besides getting pregnant.The only transport to travel from one place to another is by Camels. The nearest kedai runcit (convenient store like 7-Eleven – minus the air conditioning, minus the slurpee, minus Big Gulp, minus the electricity, minus the cashier’s uniform) is about 9 KM away..So imagine riding on a Camel for 9 KM to get a pack of ciggy…and riding it back home is another 9 KM.

Here’s scenario 1:
9.00 AM: get the camel ready
10.00 AM: off to get a pack of ciggy
11.00 AM – 1 PM: make a stop at some “pondok” to have lunch pre-packed from home and feed the camel as well.
2 PM: journey continue
4 PM: reach destination only to find that the kedai runcit has moved to another shop which is another 4 KM away..
5 PM: reach the new kedai runcit only to find that the kedai runcit is under “renovation” with a sign “We are renovating to serve you better”
5.15 PM: start journey to go home..
8.30 PM: stop again at the same pondok for dinner..
9.30 PM: the journey to home continue
10.30 PM: reach home.

Conclusion: to and fro to get a pack of ciggy = one whole friggin day and yet, no ciggy.


Scenario 2:
9.00 AM: get the camel ready
10.00 AM: off to get a pack of ciggy and salt
11.00 AM – 1 PM: make a stop at some “pondok” to have lunch pre-packed from home and feed the camel as well.
2 PM: journey continue
4 PM: reach destination. Finally got the pack of ciggy you long for
4.15 PM: since you’re there.. hang for a little while, while enjoying a fag.
5.15 PM: start journey to go home..
8.30 PM: stop again at the same pondok for dinner..
9.30 PM: the journey to home continue
10.30 PM: reach home only to realize that you have forgotten about the salt and the whole family of 40 and wife waiting for that pack of salt to start cooking..
11.00PM: ride camel back to the kedai runcit for salt..
4.00 AM: kedai runcit close but you insist of getting the salt. Kedai runcit man tells you no more stock for garam. Come back tomorrow..
4.15 AM: start journey to go home..Conclusion: reach home the next day afternoon. 1 ½ day gone – still, no salt.

Oh..did I mention that the nearest public telephone booth (the one and only – and it is not guaranteed that its in working condition) is around 17 KM away?

Well since the telephone was far away, they have developed something call “w-mail”.We have e-mails. We have broadbands. But that’s back-dated in Batu Gajah, everything is “wireless” in Batu Gajah. And as for the “w-mail”… the “w” does not stand for “wireless” – it stands for “wall”.

There’s a cave in Batu Gajah where the town folks would leave messages on the wall of the cave to each other. Not in English, not in Chinese, not in Bahasa but in cryptics writing. That way, the other town folks cannot read their messages.

Yes. The Cave of Message (as they call it) is being shared by several towns like Batu Anjing, Batu Harimau, Batu Utan, Batu Jiraf, Batu Kuda Belang and Batu Badak.

Juls is in Batu Gajah, would probably be with 40 kids – that’s the only source of entertainment. Plus, she loves that sort of entertainment anyway. So, it’s not surprising that she has more than 40 kids. As a matter of fact, she might lose track of their names and even how they look like. But, being in that place and the situation, I think the kids are pretty safe to roam around the streets. It’s not like in KL where child kidnapping and rape cases are apparent. At Batu Gajah, you can spread your legs wide and no one would actually jump or hump you except for your husband, well maybe sometimes the neighbors but that’s it.

That’s the entertainment for the ladies. For the guys, besides riding the camel to the kedai runcit and those stupid gasing and those stupid waus, other source of entertainment (again besides humping their own wife or neighbor’s wife) are milking the cows and / or humping the cows, milk the camel (if any) and / or humping the camel. Batu Gajah is all about humping. But what do they do for a living?

Well..Jul’s a housewife and a child producing machine and Kenny, of coz, has his own cows and padis – so basically Kenny’s a business man in Batu Gajah – selling or trading cows with camels – padi with rice – Juls with neighbor’s wife. Yup..they practice the barter system.

You may think that what you just read is plain crap. Think about it… a simple life is not that easy to get nowadays and at the same time it’s quite an experience to be able to live at Stone Elephant a.k.a. Batu Gajah in that kinda condition – no electricity, no entertainment other than making babies and no tar road. And for Juls to live that kinda life really deserves our standing ovation. Perhaps someday both Je and Mr. Chan will go visit her in the forsaken town of Batu Gajah and also to finally meet her new born baby – no. 41 or is it no. 42?

Till then this is Mr. Chan and this is Ex-housemate #2 signing off…. say what??!!

Some days just suck

Julie says:
u gotta introduce me to a hit man..

Man5on - Lietz, Cam-era, AKTION says:
hahah

Julie says:
I need to murder someone.

Julie says:
seriously.. u know any hit men? Any 'hak seh wui' (secret society/gangster) ppl wanna make a fast buck? Just tell me the price and all of us will tong tong come up with the money..

Man5on - Lietz, Cam-era, AKTION says:
hak seh wui and / or hit men also got

Julie says:
whatever la.. as long as the job gets done.. fast, clean with no strings attached

Man5on - Lietz, Cam-era, AKTION says:
hak seh wui does not guarantee death but hit man does.. which one u wan?

Julie says:
ohh... then hit man lor... I cannot tahan d

Man5on - Lietz, Cam-era, AKTION says:
gimme the name, location, age, height, and picture. Consider it done.

Man5on - Lietz, Cam-era, AKTION says:
112234453443-889 RHB... the RHB account number

Julie says:
Eh.. u neh tell me how much also....

Man5on - Lietz, Cam-era, AKTION says:
RM3000 per bullet on the head.. if u wan legs and hands and a slow death RM500 per bullet..

Julie says:
oh.. like that ONE bullet cukup d... just one bullet...clean and fast

Julie says:
3k u say.. ok I'll send email to ask everybody for money first

Sigh.. when Jules starts talking about killing ppl.. it means it's BAD...

Till I manage to 'erase' my little problem.... Here's EX Housemate #1 a.k.a Juls - tea addict signing off...

SSDD

So next week finally arrived.... Mr. Chan and Je are both looking forward to meet up with Juls for a drink. Now, you must be wondering why a big fuss? After all, it's only a casual meeting. For some of you, a casual meeting happens everyday with friends and buddies. For others, casual meeting can be a formal meeting in that, 'the friend' has to be informed WAY in advance. And even so, there's no guarantee in meeting up.

Anyway....

jeli®: Warning! Mafia on board... says:
so juls.... when are we meeting up?

julie says:
err, friday or saturday lor.. let me know which day you prefer... pls inform Mr. Chan

jeli®: Warning! Mafia on board... says:
eh eh... add him to the conversation la...

Manson - Lietz, Cam-era, AKTION has been added to the conversation

jeli®: Warning! Mafia on board... says:
juls said to meet on either friday or saturday... which day you prefer?

Manson - Lietz, Cam-era, AKTION says:
friday lor... mana mau meet?

julie says:
anywhere lor... can meet at ur 'usual place'...

jeli®: Warning! Mafia on board... says:
ok.. after 10pm can?

Manson - Lietz, Cam-era, AKTION says:
ok set... pls dun ffk us juls...

Manson - Lietz, Cam-era, AKTION says:
ada gossip arr? sien la... je ur best fren never tell you stories meh?

jeli®: Warning! Mafia on board... says:
same ol' stuff lor... SSDD - same shit different day

julie says:
aiyo... we listen until sien d la... you not sien meh mr chan? no need to tell oso i noe wat happen... with the amount of time spent... we can make a film out of this la...

Manson - Lietz, Cam-era, AKTION says:
hahahahahahaha....... who knows... maybe je got hot new gossips leh... that we dunno...

jeli®: Warning! Mafia on board... says:
sori to disappoint u... but no... dun haf new gossip... so you may now bore yourself to death...

Manson - Lietz, Cam-era, AKTION says:
aiseh... send you out there on the field and this is the answer you giving... you're fired!! i'll haf to recruit my loyal hammett to do the job la...

jeli®: Warning! Mafia on board... says:
sori sir... i shall pack my bags and go..

Manson - Lietz, Cam-era, AKTION says:
i just discover something very interesting you can join that will kill your time now that you are fired...

jeli®: Warning! Mafia on board... says:
that is??

Manson - Lietz, Cam-era, AKTION says:
with this new job.. you no longer work for anyone... you work for urself and the money is plenty.. let me ask you a few questions... would you like to change your car to a BMW in the next year so? would like to show off to your friends that you can earn up to 10k a month? would you like to sit around, lepak with friends and still get paid?

jeli®: Warning! Mafia on board... says:
errr??

Manson - Lietz, Cam-era, AKTION says:
if you say yes to all of the above... search no more... all you need to do is to invest a sum of 30k and all your dreams will come true...

julie says:
excuse me arr.. am i still in the conversation or wat??

Manson - Lietz, Cam-era, AKTION says:
yes juls... you can join too... and together we can con more people into joining and we can be millionaires driving the latest bmw...

jeli®: Warning! Mafia on board... says:
rite!!

Manson - Lietz, Cam-era, AKTION says:
dun bliv me? check out my new bmw... *tut* i just got it yesterday... would you like to go for a ride?

jeli®: Warning! Mafia on board... says:
wow... how very interesting... did you steal it from someone? it does look new...

julie says:
err... y suddenly got bmw arr?

Manson - Lietz, Cam-era, AKTION says:
u c... LB changed my life... since i join, everything is brand new for me.. my car, my clothes, my everything... it's a wonderful feeling.. as a friend... i would encourage you to join me and have everything like me too...

jeli®: Warning! Mafia on board... says:
eh... there's a car sticker that says ABC car rental.. did you rent this car?

Manson - Lietz, Cam-era, AKTION says:
erm... no... i bought it... *ring ring* excuse me for a while... phone call.. busy man as usual...
yes yes... dammit... i'll return the car to you in an hr's time as promised... i'm meeting a potential client rite now.... my kancil? oh u mean my SLK... yes yes... will come by for it after i return the bmw...

jeli®: Warning! Mafia on board... says:
eh... u rented the car izzit? i overheard your conversation...

julie says:
yah la.. think we stoopid izzit? think we got no brains izzit? fucking 30k ok...

jeli®: Warning! Mafia on board... says:
and if you say this mlm works... then you invest the 30k for me la... sure u get back ur money in no time rite? then you can buy urself an additional merc or bm.... ok mar... no need to ask me to invest as i aint gonna do that...

Manson - Lietz, Cam-era, AKTION says:
with my success u still wanna doubt arr? i got lotsa testimony to show you that this LB thing is working perfectly for all of us...

julie says:
then fine la... like je said... you invest the 30k for us... then we'll see how good this thing is.. u think no need to work money can fall from the sky arr? dream on... like that we might as well sit at home and sleep?

Manson - Lietz, Cam-era, AKTION says:
err... i need to go.. need to return the car... i mean need to send the car to the workshop...

jeli®: Warning! Mafia on board... says:
eh? thot you said you just bought the car? send to workshop? and watz this kancil that i heard you saying?

Manson - Lietz, Cam-era, AKTION says:
hehe.. that's my other car... it's SLK... anyway... gotta run... could you also pay for my drinks? i got no money... i mean i left my wallet at home... thanks. bye!

julie says:
wat??

julie says:
hahahahah!!!

Manson - Lietz, Cam-era, AKTION says:
fuck man those LB ah bengs... cant stand them... big time conman...

jeli®: Warning! Mafia on board... says:
maybe they're just jealous of our simple life leh?

And so the stories continue.. Perhaps you may think that we got no life... but let me tell you that working life will not be as fun if we do not have msn to chat and to update each other on the happenings around us.

Friday finally came....

As usual Je will be the first to arrive. Shortly after that... Mr. Chan arrives...

Mr. Chan: Mana itu Julie?
Je: Belum sampai lagi kua... Think she should be here anytime now...
Mr. Chan: Sudah part 10.30 wor... Let me call her to see where she is right now...
Mr. Chan: Wei.. mana you? Me and Je sudah habis minum... pls come and settle the bill now...
Mr. Chan: ......
Mr. Chan: ......
Je: Apasal?
Mr. Chan: No lor... we did not receive your sms (still talking to Juls). You think if we receive we'll call and kacau you anot? I dun care you come and settle the bill.... (puts down the phone)
Je: Let me guess.... Juls cant make it?
Mr. Chan: What's new? So macam mana? Just the two of us again...
Je: You never give her some izzit?
Mr. Chan: Give her? She ain't getting any ok... Coz she din show up...

Again, some things never change... Je and Mr. Chan spent the night alone at the mamak stall waiting for the time when Juls would actually turn up and settle the bill... I mean join them in the casual meeting...

Till next time..

I'm ex-housemate #2 signing off - Take care of yourself... and each other

All in a day's work

9.00am - Leaves for work
9.30am - Arrive at the office. Have breaky
10.00am - Switch on computer. Phones rings
10.30am - Work starts officially. Phones rings
11.00am - Check email and chat on msn. Phones rings
11.30am - Still chatting on msn. Plans for lunch. Phone rings
12.00pm - Still chatting on msn. Half dead from the morning work.
12.30pm - Lunch time!!

*ring ring*

Je: Yellow?
Caller: hfjhfsdjhirhgfirenk
Je: Yeah yeah...
Caller: kajfkjdfkej
Je: Sure.. let me settle that for you... Bye!

Repeat the above for 10 times. That's how it is like for me before lunch. Well.. I'm also usually busy with other things other than work.....

jeli® (A): Warning! Mafia on board... says:
wei wei... apa buat?

Man5on - Lietz, Cam-era, AKTION says:
talak apa.. sien la.. apa lagi.. mana itu julie?

jeli® (A): Warning! Mafia on board... says:
wait i add her into the conversation...

Julie has been added to the conversation.

Julie says:
hhmm?

Man5on - Lietz, Cam-era, AKTION says:
apa buat?

Julie says:
listening to lemon tree song... very nice... you want? i share to you guys

jeli® (A): Warning! Mafia on board... says:
no thanks... i not lala... plus... the song is soooo old...

Man5on - Lietz, Cam-era, AKTION says:
yah la...so lala arr juls.... that song is as old as my grandfather....

Julie says:
pls la... this song happened to be very famous in high skool ok... tiu!

Julie says:
anybody want's Gary Moore song?

Julie says:
Still Got The Blues

Julie says:
Mr Chan.. mau?

Julie has left the conversation.

Man5on - Lietz, Cam-era, AKTION says:
apasal? terclose again must be... everytime also like that... or she angry we call her lala?

jeli® (A): Warning! Mafia on board... says:
you la jahat... everytime also pick on her only... i add her back la...

Julie has been added to the conversation

Julie says:
so you guys want the songs? i'll email to you if you want...

jeli® (A): Warning! Mafia on board... says:
err... we more interested in meeting up for a drink la...

Man5on - Lietz, Cam-era, AKTION says:
ya la juls... it's bout time we meet up for a drink la kanasai!! it's been too long... the last time we ask you... you were busy... you're always busy... how bout this friday?

jeli® (A): Warning! Mafia on board... says:
should be fine to meet after 10pm... our usual place?

Julie says:
err... where is your usual place arr?? btw, i sent the songs d to you all... dun care...

jeli® (A): Warning! Mafia on board... says:
aiseh juls... shows how often you meet up with us...

Man5on - Lietz, Cam-era, AKTION says:
we meet at carlos la... ok juls? or you got other plans than to meet us? u boleh ajak ur other half also...

Julie says:
this friday i not free wor... maybe next week can? u neh tell me earlier... i have to plan mar...
ma ka hai ar...

jeli® (A): Warning! Mafia on board... says:
so vulgar wan u... but anyway... today only wednestday mar... got two days to plan

Julie says:
cannot lor... i got something on mar... cannot make it lor...

Man5on - Lietz, Cam-era, AKTION says:
tiu... everytime ask you out... u sure dowan. sure got excuse wan...

Julie says:
wah lan... i really got something on mar...

Man5on - Lietz, Cam-era, AKTION says:
eh... this is not the first time we make plans to meet up ok...

Julie says:
but i really got something on mar... i cannot change the plan...

jeli® (A): Warning! Mafia on board... says:
y don't you tell us when you wanna meet and we'll follow your timing... easier that way..

Julie says:
how bout next week then? next week i should be ok kua...

Man5on - Lietz, Cam-era, AKTION says:
time, place and date pls...

Julie says:
err... confirm next week can? coz i remember i got an appointment with some artist... i'll let u guys know boleh?

Man5on - Lietz, Cam-era, AKTION says:
lunch now... talk later...

jeli® (A): Warning! Mafia on board... says:
yeah.. me too!! laters!!!

Julie says:
so early? oh well... chat with you guys later...

For those of you who are still blur. That's msn chat. For more info on what msn is all about, please visit the website at www.msn.com If you do not have an msn... you are so not in... get a life, pal!!

Well... after lunch... pls refer above and rephrase the conversation slightly as we'll still be talking more crap... but of course at times... we'll gossip about some people we know... that part of the story will be up some time in the next blog or so...

Yup, that's all in a days work other than making calls, visiting client's office, sleep in the office, have a little tea party, walk in and out of the toilet 100 times, make fun of colleagues, eat 10 times a day, lepak in the pantry few times a day and chit chat with colleagues....

Next week finally came..... stay tune for more...

i'm ex-housemate #2 signing off - take care of yourself... and each other

Snippets from life after Perth

Graduated, boarded the plane, came home, bummed.

That was the sequence in which my new life as a Degree holder and aspiring working adult started.

I graduated before #2 and #3 so I was the oni one who came back. They came back 6 months later..(Hor? 6 months right? I dun remember).

Anyhow, as a new graduate, I was very gung-ho in looking for a job, not because I wanted to be gung-ho.. it was more due to my mom's incessant nagging. So I'd scan the papers daily to see if there were any openings for Journalist, PR Exec, Writer, Assitant Editor and shit like that.. sometimes, even Sales and Marketing stuff also I sapu.. all kinds of 'kau see, lap sap' also I apply.

But dunno why I neh kena layer cake selling like Mr. Chan wor.. Mr. Chan ur damn lucky to be able to get layer cake selling experience ok.. Ur the ONI one among three of us to have that kinda experience.. Selling layer cake.. where to find? Hahaha.. ok chill.

Ok so back to my job.. Calls came, interviews carried out.. but still to no avail. Then... suddenly, I got a job offer from a friend of a friend. I went for the interview and freaked out when I saw my future boss. Lemme describe her to you... *ahem*

Job #1 - Account Servicing Exec (Advertising)

Imagine, a 40 plus year old lady. Not married. Single. Her dressing, I'd say.. borders on being butch. She dun do skirts. She does pants only and they have to be black. She has short short hair, dyed blonde. She sports a ring on EACH finger... mind you.. ALL 10 fingers got ring one.. and she has more earings than erm.... I dunno who to compare with.. aiya.. she got a lot of earings la.. so much so that.. I think if I pull one the whole lobe will come OFF. Yeah.. so that was my FIRST boss. Scary eh? Haha.. trust me.. she dun oni look scary.

Honestly, I hated this first job of mine. The pay was low, the hours were long and well.. the environment wasn't condusive for learning. The good thing about this job was that it gave me insights in how advertising worked.. because at that office.. everybody has to one-leg-kick.

Anyhow, least to say.. I din last long. Longer than Mr. Chan's layer cake selling stint.. but still not long enuff. Hahaha.. Moving on......

Job #2 - Copywriter (Advertising)

Now, Job #2 was a good one. Again, I was introduced by a friend, who became my boss. This time, I ended up doing writing. Very different from my last job. This job.. was fun man.. hahah.. we worked hard and we played hard.. for the first year, we practically stayed at the office. It sucked.. once in a while, but over all.. I felt it was worth it. Besides.. it is here that I met the love of my life.. *everybody say awwwwwwww...*

Anyway, I lasted 2 years with this one.. towards the end, the job wasn't fun no more.. so.. it was time to move on.

And now....

Job #3 - Web writer

This one.. is the best so far.. haha.. See for yourself la.. All my cam-whoring pics.

Last year's Christmas party at Flam's..

My best fren in the office.... sorry Mr Chan.
But I share panties wit her now.. dun sad ok?

There are actually more pics... but.. stupid blogger won't lemme upload. Dem kanasai.. Ma hai took me like few days just to figure out how to upload 2 fucking pictures.. TULAN!

Dun care la just post oni.

Till I figure out how to upload more cam-whoring pics.. Here's EX Housemate #1 a.k.a Juls - tea addict signing off...

The Da Vinci Code

sRobert Langdon...Silas..Opus Dei...Gnostic Gospels...Sophie Neveu..Yup..the da vinci code..

Its a good book. Before this..I've heard and read tons of review about it and of all..it has something gotta do with Christ...i love stuffs that relates to christianity and/or other religions - i find these stories very interesting and to learn the history of other religion is always good...

My dad often tells me stuff about christianity - My dad attended some christian school when he was young so that's why he know his stories...but dun get me wrong...i'm not a christian, ain't an anti-christ too..not against any religion at all...just wanna get this clear cuz talking about religious is kinda sensitive and are often misunderstood....ain't here to talk about religion anyway..

Obviously, my interest has made me read The Da Vinci Code..the thing is...i dun read...well...besides Marvel comics, MAD mags, football mags, Playboy, Games review, Penthouse, newspaper, HUSTLER, ... if u call this reading then yea...i read...

In my whole friggin life...i've only read 3 books before..
1. Nirvana - biography
2. Marilyn Manson - Long Hard Road Out of Hell - biography
3. Da Vinci Code - fiction? Non Fiction?

After reading and hearing so much about the book (even before the movie is out)..so i've decided to make a trip to the nearest MPH and look for it...walk around for a few mins.. - reading the free mags -

Talk about reading free mags - i was surprised to see the amount of ppl reading free mags there.."ppl mountian ppl sea" as the chinese saying.. - basically i have to push and squueezze myself through the crowd to get a copy of a football mag ...sigh...Malaysians....you CHEAP BASTARDSSSS...!!!..guess i was "cheap" too...hey...don't blame me...if ya can't beat em'...JOIN em'..

Anyway..got through the crowd of cheap motherfuckers..finally got the mag i wan..and started browsing very quickly...hey...lots of Arsenal news..(i'm a Gunner that hates Stamford Bridge...)..i think i'll buy it...for the first time...

After paying for the mag then only i realise my main objective to MPH...not to read free mag and kill time but to get a copy of that Da Vinci Code..so walk around summore and i can't find anything...decided to wait for awhile and was scanning the scene for the hottest promoter so that i can approach and ask her stuff...and this has proven..there's no such thing in MPH...ya want hot "promoter" chiq? go to some boutique and the chances are not guranteed...

Anyway...decided to ask the information counter..
Me: hey there..do you have Da Vinci Code?
Lady: ...* look at me one kind like i've just rape her cat or some shit..*...ape tu?? ..* she question with a harsh voice..
Me: *tolerating her bitchy attitude..*..Do you have this book called Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown?
Lady: ..ape tu??..dan brown book? ape?..vincci??
Me: *realise that she do not understand english..and i'm gettin really pissed from her fucking attitude*...SINI ADA TAK ITU BUKU NAMA "DA VINCI CODE" ? PEKAK KE TAK FAHAM ENGLISH?..
Lady: ...cakap lar awal awal..marah pulak...
Me: attitude u ini macam siapa tak marah...
Lady: buku tu ada...tapi mahal...
Me: ...who is the person in charge here..* person in charge came and happen to be a chinese women*

Person in Charge (PIC): yes? sir?...is anything wrong?..what can i do for you?..
Me: look..i'm trying to look for Da Vinci Code and this bitch here..(yup..i said bitch)..ain't helping and from the last comment that came out from her mouth was "buku tu ada..tapi mahal"..do i look like a fucking prick who comes in here and read free book??..(obviously i am..but i was fuming..so..fuck it..)..and worse of all..she dun seems to understand english and she has a big fucking problem with her attitude..i have not curse so much in my entire life before and she just made my day...( yea right...i curse every seconds..)

sidetrack a little:..i was wearing a very sad t-shirt..sad means that it is so terrible that the collar was so loose that u can actually see my nipple..a short pants...have not shower yet..have not shave...and a thong..(sandals)..

PIC: i'm so sorry sir..i apologize for that..the book that you're looking for is just right over there..you won't miss it..* pointing to the racks of book which i've just pass and the Da Vinci Code was at display on a special promotional table..*
Me: *oh fuck...how blind can i be...shit..*..ohh..thanks...u've been very helpful..and pls..train ur staff properly...it makes our country looks bad..(already it is bad enuff..)
PIC: of coz...

Finally..i've found what i'm looking for...mission complete...but..the book is huge..it is the hard cover version with some pics in it..and its heavy...and its friggin THICK..hey..i dun read books so..it is consider thick to me..so..quickly i flipped thru the pages..look at some pics...and i was thinking to myself...goddammit..there's so much words here...how am i gonna finish this.??..anyway...i wonder how much izzit..and i was expecting like 49.90 or 59.90 or 69.90...and as i turn the book over...bloody hell...(can't remember the exact price..)..wow...its expensive to read these days...

As i was holding the book looking left right up down centre...there's this man..happen to be on the same row as me..was staring at me and i swear to god that his eyes was saying .."you cheap bastard"...same to you uncle...

In the end...i did not get a copy of that Da Vinci Code as i have got not enough cash and i did not bring my wallet with me..so..no credit card either...oh well...guess i'll have to wait for my next visit to MPH...

Friends...sister...cousin was braggin about Da Vinci Code..north south east west...and i was like..arrrgghh...the whole world is reading it and i'm still stuck at page 34 on my HUSTLER...damm...i must get the friggin book...ask around my friends to borrow the book and finally, me Fcuk Buddy, Julie -

"i can borrow you if ya want.."..the next think i know i was at Julie's door knocking for the book..and its true what they say about the book.."you just can't let it go..it makes you wanna read and read and read to find out what happen to Robert and Sophie and what the heck is Holy Grail..."

That night...i spent 5 hours reading that book..(wow..a record for me...at least..again..i dun read books..) leaving my sweet heart all by herself...sittin there...waiting for me to turn her on...to touch her...to feel her...( my Playstation 2..)

And as i was sharing some info of the book with another friend of mine...She responded "wow..i didn't know you read.."

me niether..

Now that i've finish reading The Da Vinci Code - watch the movie too, i was wondering how it sounds like if there's a Bahasa version for The Da Vinci Code and the writer ain't gonna be Dan Brown - What if the author was me...

Hmmmm....

till next blog

I'm Mr Chan signing off - ah Ju Ju...you dun understand..Ju Ju..