Wednesday, April 23, 2008

all by myself...

It is oni NOW that I realize the World Wide Web is such a lonely place.. So lonely in fact, that I have half the heart to actually gossip.. with CAMEL!

But no.. don't worry.. I'm not THAT desperate YET..

Instead, I have decided to put my usual 'jelita chat time' to good use, by updating all you super free wankers who have nothing to do, but, not only read this nonsense of a blog, but ALSO check regularly whether there are new entries or not. (yes.. I am talking about YOU.. no use denying it.. just admit it, you're addicted to this blog)

Well, to date we've got one (upcoming) wedding and a funeral.. Lemme elaborate.

1) Je's getting hitched

To all of you who still don't know that.. Yes.. she's officially off the market.. sorry boys..

And not only that.. Our very own Jelita Ling was also featured in her bestest friend's blog.. And I gotta say this.. Very few people actually make it into that blog, cuz you've gotta be either, a) sleeping with her, b) the person who offended her in some way or other, c) her bestest friend. And clearly, Jelita Ling fits the bill for option C.

You see, Je is well known to be everybody's bestest friend. For some reason or other, all the weirdos just LOVE her.. (except you EJ, you're not a weirdo... really).

Ok ok.. some of you will now be thinking.. "Shit.. is she talking about me?" Well don't plan to shoot me yet. Cuz chances are, the weirdos won't realize I'm talking about them.. and if you are questioning if YOU yourself are the weirdo.. then chances are.. you're not. Kapish?

Ok so where was I? OH yeah.. Everybody loves Je.. Yes they do.. The good and the bad.. The weird and the normal.. Which kinda makes Je a freak show. The weird are the performers, and the normal go there to see (the weird) and Je is the ringmaster. Anyway, having said all that, the usual gang just have to thank Je for embracing her destiny and for taking one for the team.. We love u Je, you know we do.. Don't we Mr. Chan? Cuz if not for her, we'd be the freak show. *high 5*

Oh and congratulations Je on getting hitched (and on being the first of us to get hitched).. hope your love is as perfect here as it is in heaven, (or something like that, was too lazy to look it up.. from the said blog of your bestest friend)

2) Pebbles

The Usual Gang would like to extend our solemnest condolences to Mr. Chan and Cherry for the lost of their puppy cocker spaniel, Pebbles.

To Pebbles,

Though you were part of the Usual Gang only for a week, your presence will be sorely missed. We hope you're happy and free of pain in doggy heaven and we wish you an endless supply of snacks, doggy treats and cuddles, wherever you are.

xx,
Your Usual Gang Aunties and Uncles

3) "Lonely.. Oh so lonely.."

Haha.. no pun intended.. Je you know what I mean. Mr. Chan, when you're free we'll let you in on it.

So, am left alone in the world wide web.

As usual Mr. Chan is no where to be seen, and Je.. well, Je has taken a sabbatical from work AND from my msn chat list. She's no longer online and we have ceased to have our daily dosage of gossip, cock tok and so on and so forth.

Do I miss her? Well of course I do.. (altogether now, awwwwwwwwwwwwwww) do I miss Mr. Chan? Well, that ship sailed LONG ago.. and we've accepted the fact that it's never coming back. So no.. dun miss Mr. Chan.. (altogether now, awwwwwwwwwwww.. I mean, the bad kinda awww)

Yeap.. so like that la, That's all for the updates, I guess one of the surest ways to get Jules to blog is to bore her.. Bore her to blog as opposed to bore her to death..

So, blog d la.. now can please come back online and entertain me?

11 Comments:

Anonymous not the weirdo said...

eh eh dun la...

why u dun miss me la??...
i miss u ma...i give u 10 bucks u miss me ok??...ok??..

anyway...nice blog and if pebble is still around...she'll give u a thousand licks...
she'll be miss dearly..

9:51 AM  
Anonymous only the weird are in denial said...

Just give up la.. Nobody misses you anymore la.. Ok la.. maybe EJ la.. but apart from that.. No one.. not Je, not Jules.. Ok la maybe Camel..

You must have been one of those weird ones, who's first thought was.. "hahaha.. she talking about weird ppl.. Not me! Not me!"

Yeah, now that I've seen her picture.. I miss her too.. sigh.

11:43 AM  
Anonymous not the weirdo..really.. said...

hehehe...cute huh?..

Wait la..most probably i'll be getting my new pup (cocker) by this weekend la..then i'll snaps hundreds of pics for you..and je...and EJ..even though you guys dun miss me.. :(

then i'm gonna teach him how to play dead...how to fetch beer...how to play PS2 with me..how to play football like Ronaldhino with me..etc...

and probably teach him how to have a gay session with handsome..

i have not really decided on the name yet..perhaps you can help?
1) Julz
2) Je
3) Odie
4) Max
5) Maxi-pad
6) Milo
7) Nestum
8) Nestle
9) Leonidas
10)Ovaltine

so which one good?...please choose among 3,4 and 6 only.

11:00 AM  
Anonymous i'd like to call my next dog pedro said...

Aiya... Lame with a capital L la ur names.. I give u my own selections..

1) Whorelicks
2) Hash
3) Marijuana (Mari for short, Juan for when he's on heat)
4) Burito
5) Nacho

Hahah.. but seriously.. I like Max.. but u gotta admit.. Whorelicks made u laugh din it? Din it?

11:56 AM  
Anonymous bestest friend to weirdos said...

i must say... the blog made me laugh and i kinda missed kacau-ing you, juls. but i guess new chapter has to begin somewhere somehow... awww...

as for mr. chan, hmm... heard you got yourself a golden retriever. bila mau show off arr?

just an update.. someone's being dying to buy me coffee since few weeks d. and guess who??

to be cont'd

8:41 PM  
Anonymous Manson & Max said...

let me guess..

four-legged??..
with hump??..2 humps as a matter of fact..??
it spits??..

1:04 PM  
Anonymous camel is her best fren said...

Do we get a prize for guessing it right?

Mr Chan din guess.. he just described the correct answer..

So I'll just come right out n say it..

CAMEL!

Hahaha.. Have fun with your spitty, humppy date.. While Mr Chan and I get together to talk about our 'sons'.. Hor.. Mr Chan hor?

3:00 PM  
Anonymous C for Camel said...

ahahahha...
Yeah lo..we can talk about our sons all day and night..

Je outkast la..
If i were you, i quickly go get myself a dog and name it camel and be in the clan!!...

oh wait...u can't name it camel as you already have a friend who is a CAMEL!!...

hey i know...during your wedding day..instead of a car..you can use a camel..it has 2 humps right?..EJ can sit on the first hump and u take the second..

You can write "just married" on the camel's ass!..

12:07 PM  
Anonymous Mr. Chan is a rocking doggy papa.. said...

OMG Mr. Chan.. U rock!

That was damn funny! Hahah.. cannot stop laughing..

I can imagine, Je in her wedding dress trying to climb onto the camel's hump.. hahhahaha...

But ar but ar.. if she sit on camel's hump to get to the wedding.. sure peepee pain one when she reach Palace of The Golden Horses.. then malam how to buat benda?

1:41 PM  
Anonymous unta said...

hahaha...
Yeah hor..her peepee will be so sore by the time she reach "the istana kuda emas"..hmm..how inconsiderate of me..sorry je's peepee!!..

Perhaps i can buy u a cushion as your wedding gift that made of camel's fur?

if still sore, and EJ is horny how la?..Nvm...EJ, you still have the camel to "make passionate" love with but watch out...they spit!!..

5:01 PM  
Anonymous sound like a freakin' orgy said...

Err.. I hope ur talking about the transportation camel... not Je's best friend camel..

Anyhow.. let's stop talking about Je's and camel's peepee, EJ's horniness and spit.. it's freaking me out..

6:26 PM  

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