Sri Lapisan is BACK!!
Since my “Sri Lapisan” experience is the talk of the month in our blog (just about every blog Housemate No 1 & 2 post, there’s just a “Sri Lapisan” there..)
So I was thinking how its gonna be if all of us were in this “business” together?
Now, being in this business not as the owner or the director but as the sales person. This is how its gonna be…
Team Leader : Mr Chan (since I’m the only one with the experience here..sad to say..)
My Team Member:
1) Juls
2) Je
3) Nigel
4) EJ
5) Kenny
Location to cover: Subang Jaya, Kelana Jaya, Phileo Damasara, Shah Alam and PJ (basically all of our current working area).Location specification and target audience: Food court, mamak stalls, Chinese food stalls, offices, shot lots, shop houses, passer-by on the street, every Tom Dick and Harry, Ali and Siti, Muthu and Letchumi.
Transport: Nissan Sunny 120Y. Color: white
- Air conditioning = Not as expected. Please wind down the window
- Smoking or non smoking = Smoke
- Ashtray = Anywhere u please
Driver: Mr Chan
Passenger seat: Nigel
Back seat: Juls, Je, EJ, Kenny
What’s inside the car: Us and 6 cartons of Sri Lapisan cake.
- 1 carton = 30 boxes of cakes
- 6 cartons = 180 boxes of cakes
Cake Description:
Layer CakeFlavor = 3 different flavor ( pandan, chocolate, original )
Condition of cake: chill and non chill
Cake originality = said to be from Indonesia
Selling price = Market: 14.90
Selling price = Now: 9.90
Free gifts = pisau plastic.
Anymore free gifts = Buy 10 free 1
Catalogue = Yes… and its FREE.
Now besides the above info, you will have to “prospect” according to the script. The script sounds something like this:
“Hi sir, good morning (and / or afternoon). Don’t worry we are not selling anything. We are agents from (whatever company) and would like to give you this catalogue. YESSS..we are giving it to you!!..FREE. Have a look at it.”
Proceed to another potential “prospect”
Repeat the above.
Return to the previous prospect.
“Hi sir, so as you can see on your FREE catalogue, we are selling these cakes as display here (show them the cake that your holding). We are selling 3 flavors today, pandan, chocolate and the original flavor. Here…touch it…pls…touch it..(insist them to touch the cake)…YES its cold. And for today we are having special offers.. and today’s the last day. We are selling one cake for only RM 9.90. Now if you would buy the cake from Giant or Carrefour or Tesco, it will cost you around RM 14.90 and the good news is..the cake comes with a FREE plastic knife! Wow you can eat the cake right now!!..
So how sir? Only RM 9.90. You can buy for your colleague or family at home… you children would love cakes… Now if you buy all the 3 flavors from me, I will give u another for FREE and best of all…. You will have 4 knifes!!..wow..
so how sir? So how?”
Now the trick here is..keep talking! As fast as you can. Do not let them to have the chance to speak..! Persuasion is the key to success!
But if the customer ignores you totally, take back the catalogue and move on.
Alright! Now that we’re all set…let’s roll out!!
The temperature: 32 degrees – sunny.
As we are walking towards to a potential location..
Juls: wah lan neh…nia sing..damm hot wei…
Kenny: nehmind nehmind…I blow air to you ok??..*fuuuuuuuu…*
Juls: wah lan….ur sliver lar !!...you’re making it worse!!!...now so sticky sticky lar….!!!!
Je: (cannot been seen on sight as she is hiding in some shadow)…
EJ: dude…have you seen Je? Damm it…these cakes are heavy
Nigel: ma hai…my hair koyak lar…spend hours to have this style now became wet look!
In a chinese restaurant.
Je: Hi sir, good ….
Man: no thanks..
Je: ..good morning.. Don’t worry we are not selling..
Man: no thanks..
Je: …anything. We are agents from (whatever company) and would like to give you this catalogue…
Man: …
Je: YESSS..we are giving it to you!!..FREE. Have a look at it…
Man: no thanks…
Je: *sob sob* pls..let me finish talking..
Juls: ma ka hai… now u wanna take or not??...its FREE lar !!..come je…let’s go..
Nigel: Hi ma’am, good morning ….
Lady: mm..moi..mm..moi (duwan in Cantonese)..
Nigel: mm moi meh??..mm moi meh??..ngor tou mei kong!!..
Lady: mm moi..mm moi…
Nigel: mm moi meh…??
Lady: meh..??
Nigel: .. MEH ??..
Lady: meh..??
Nigel: .. MEH ??..
Lady: meh..??
Nigel: .. MEH ??..
Lady: meh..??
Nigel: .. MEH ??..
Meh = “what?” in cantonese..
Juls: Hi sir, good morning. Don’t worry we are not selling anything. We are agents from (whatever company) and would like to give you this catalogue. YESSS..we are giving it to you!!..FREE. Have a look at it…
Man: errr…I ..
Juls: Have a look at it…
Man: no but I’m..
Juls: so as you can see on your FREE catalogue, we are selling these cakes as display here. We are selling 3 flavors today, pandan, chocolate and the original flavor. Here…touch it…pls…touch it..
YES its cold. And for today we are having special offers.. and today’s the last day. We are selling one cake for only RM 9.90.
Man: no you see..i..
Juls: (absolutely giving him no chance to say anything!!) Now if you would buy the cake from Giant or Carrefour or Tesco, it will cost you around RM 14.90 and the good news is..the cake comes with a FREE plastic knife! Wow you can eat the cake right now!!..
Man: RM 9.90??..that’s expensive..
Juls: (absolutely ignoring any remarks the man is making) so how sir? Only RM 9.90. You can buy for your colleague or family at home… you children would love cakes… Now if you buy all the 3 flavors from me, I will give u another for FREE and best of all…. You will have 4 knifes!!..wow..
so how sir? So how?
Man: no..no thanks..i dun like cake..
Juls: no sir…this one special one…only RM 9.90..today last day de..
Man: no..really I’m not interested..
Juls: I talk so much dee now u say duwan…hai mai wan yeh ar??...( hai mai wan yeh ar = “trying to play games with me” in Cantonese)
Man: ….( nervous )
Kenny: Julie jie…meh sii ar?...SING NGAN CHAI (four eye dude)…HAI MAI WAN YEH ARR??..
Man: okok..i buy I buy…
Juls: ok sir but we are having special of the special promotion now.. if you buy 3 cakes..we give u another one for FREE…so..its 4 cakes for the price of 3..
Man: thanks..i’ll …I’ll..just ..just..have one…
Juls: …..
Kenny: why Julie jie??..is this sing ngan chai giving u trouble again??...HAI MAI WAN YEHH ARRRRR??..
Man: I’ll take 3 pls..
EJ: ..*talking to himself..* why so stupid walk around here and there to sell lar..* setting up his own stall in front of gambling outlets like Magnum, TOTO, and Tai Ma Cai..*
EJ: oi oi…mari marii….kek lapis…hanya RM 9.90..FREE PISAU!!..
Man: eh eh..kek ape nie??
EJ: ahh..ahh..mari mari..tengok catalog dulu…haaaa…mari…..aku buat demo sikit..
Man: eh eh…ada demo ..jom tengok..
EJ: ah…tuan tuan puan puan…ini kek lapis..HA!!..bukan biasa punya kek lapis..!!....ini kek LAPISAN!!...HAAAA…bukan lapis..tapi LAPISAN!!..nampak beza nya??
crowd: wooo…..
EJ: harrr…..ada sejuk..ada tak sejuk…ada 3 perisa…pandan..warna hijau..chocolate..warna chocolate…perisa original..warna original..
Man: macam mane mau makan?
EJ: HAAAA….kalau abang nie beli..i tunjuk sama u cara makan..
Man: boleh test dulu ke?
EJ: eh..u beli nombor kat Magnum boleh test test itu nombor dulu ar??..
Man: macam nie berapa satu?
EJ: hanya RM 9.90 satu!...murah…hari nie last day aku buat promosi…HAA…bukan selalu I ada kat sini…
Nigel: ( running towards EJ, pretending to get more stocks from him..) HAAAA..EJ EJ…
EJ: tuan tuan puan puan..tunggu kejap!..yea dude??
Nigel: eh I got one customer over there just tasted one of the cake and now wanna buy 50 boxes from us…how many u got there??..i’m short of 25..
EJ: I got 30 here….
Nigel: ok..pass to me the 25 first…( and off goes Nigel )
Man: wahhh…laku arr…
EJ: *AHHHEEEEMMMM*….YEAH…mari mari…u nampak tak??..harr…sudah angkat 25 ..tinggal saja 5 kotak…
Man: okok..i beli lima kotak…
Man 2: boss…I bagi 100..u bagi I semua tu..
Man 3: 150..!!
Man 4: 155..!!
Man 2: 200..!!
Crowd: wwoooooo…
EJ: 200 sekali….200 dua kali….200…
Man 4: pukimak..250..!!!
Crowd: wooo…..*clap clap clap clap*…
EJ: 250…250…do I hear 300??...do I hear a 300??..
Lady: 450!!! (it was Je)
Crowd: wahhhhhhh…….
Man 3: 500!!..
EJ: SOLD! At 500!!
Well as you’re wondering that everybody is working, where the hell am i? Being the team leader of course, I will be having my tea at some nearby stall.
Now let’s back track a little.. back to the script and do some justification to it :
“Hi sir, good morning (and / or afternoon). Don’t worry we are not selling anything. We are agents from (whatever company) and would like to give you this catalogue. YESSS..we are giving it to you!!..FREE. Have a look at it.”
“Hi sir, so as you can see on your FREE catalogue, we are selling these cakes as display here (show them the cake that your holding). We are selling 3 flavors today, pandan, chocolate and the original flavor. Here…touch it…pls…touch it..(insist them to touch the cake)…YES its cold. And for today we are having special offers.. and today’s the last day. We are selling one cake for only RM 9.90. Now if you would buy the cake from Giant or Carrefour or Tesco, it will cost you around RM 14.90 and the good news is..the cake comes with a FREE plastic knife! Wow you can eat the cake right now!!..
First, we are telling them that we are not selling anything but would like to give out a free catalogue and the next thing we are telling them that we are selling cake. And as for the catalogue, pf coz its free, who the hell would wanna pay for a catalogue?
And for today we are having special offers.. and today’s the last day = that’s what they all said. Come back tomorrow, they are still around, next week too, the following month too.
RM 9.90 for a stupid cake? I did not come across any “Sri Lapisan” cake in Giant, Carrefour or Tesco.
Free knife? Make it big deal out of it as if it’s a good bargain?
If I would to buy a cake for my colleagues and / or family, I’ll go to some proper cake shop. And seriously, I have seen the cake. Its half the size of the bloody box! For 9.90! it’s a con job. A friggin’ scam! And yes…it really comes with a small plastic knife.
I'm Mr Chan signing off - ah Ju Ju...you dun understand..Ju Ju..
So I was thinking how its gonna be if all of us were in this “business” together?
Now, being in this business not as the owner or the director but as the sales person. This is how its gonna be…
Team Leader : Mr Chan (since I’m the only one with the experience here..sad to say..)
My Team Member:
1) Juls
2) Je
3) Nigel
4) EJ
5) Kenny
Location to cover: Subang Jaya, Kelana Jaya, Phileo Damasara, Shah Alam and PJ (basically all of our current working area).Location specification and target audience: Food court, mamak stalls, Chinese food stalls, offices, shot lots, shop houses, passer-by on the street, every Tom Dick and Harry, Ali and Siti, Muthu and Letchumi.
Transport: Nissan Sunny 120Y. Color: white
- Air conditioning = Not as expected. Please wind down the window
- Smoking or non smoking = Smoke
- Ashtray = Anywhere u please
Driver: Mr Chan
Passenger seat: Nigel
Back seat: Juls, Je, EJ, Kenny
What’s inside the car: Us and 6 cartons of Sri Lapisan cake.
- 1 carton = 30 boxes of cakes
- 6 cartons = 180 boxes of cakes
Cake Description:
Layer CakeFlavor = 3 different flavor ( pandan, chocolate, original )
Condition of cake: chill and non chill
Cake originality = said to be from Indonesia
Selling price = Market: 14.90
Selling price = Now: 9.90
Free gifts = pisau plastic.
Anymore free gifts = Buy 10 free 1
Catalogue = Yes… and its FREE.
Now besides the above info, you will have to “prospect” according to the script. The script sounds something like this:
“Hi sir, good morning (and / or afternoon). Don’t worry we are not selling anything. We are agents from (whatever company) and would like to give you this catalogue. YESSS..we are giving it to you!!..FREE. Have a look at it.”
Proceed to another potential “prospect”
Repeat the above.
Return to the previous prospect.
“Hi sir, so as you can see on your FREE catalogue, we are selling these cakes as display here (show them the cake that your holding). We are selling 3 flavors today, pandan, chocolate and the original flavor. Here…touch it…pls…touch it..(insist them to touch the cake)…YES its cold. And for today we are having special offers.. and today’s the last day. We are selling one cake for only RM 9.90. Now if you would buy the cake from Giant or Carrefour or Tesco, it will cost you around RM 14.90 and the good news is..the cake comes with a FREE plastic knife! Wow you can eat the cake right now!!..
So how sir? Only RM 9.90. You can buy for your colleague or family at home… you children would love cakes… Now if you buy all the 3 flavors from me, I will give u another for FREE and best of all…. You will have 4 knifes!!..wow..
so how sir? So how?”
Now the trick here is..keep talking! As fast as you can. Do not let them to have the chance to speak..! Persuasion is the key to success!
But if the customer ignores you totally, take back the catalogue and move on.
Alright! Now that we’re all set…let’s roll out!!
The temperature: 32 degrees – sunny.
As we are walking towards to a potential location..
Juls: wah lan neh…nia sing..damm hot wei…
Kenny: nehmind nehmind…I blow air to you ok??..*fuuuuuuuu…*
Juls: wah lan….ur sliver lar !!...you’re making it worse!!!...now so sticky sticky lar….!!!!
Je: (cannot been seen on sight as she is hiding in some shadow)…
EJ: dude…have you seen Je? Damm it…these cakes are heavy
Nigel: ma hai…my hair koyak lar…spend hours to have this style now became wet look!
In a chinese restaurant.
Je: Hi sir, good ….
Man: no thanks..
Je: ..good morning.. Don’t worry we are not selling..
Man: no thanks..
Je: …anything. We are agents from (whatever company) and would like to give you this catalogue…
Man: …
Je: YESSS..we are giving it to you!!..FREE. Have a look at it…
Man: no thanks…
Je: *sob sob* pls..let me finish talking..
Juls: ma ka hai… now u wanna take or not??...its FREE lar !!..come je…let’s go..
Nigel: Hi ma’am, good morning ….
Lady: mm..moi..mm..moi (duwan in Cantonese)..
Nigel: mm moi meh??..mm moi meh??..ngor tou mei kong!!..
Lady: mm moi..mm moi…
Nigel: mm moi meh…??
Lady: meh..??
Nigel: .. MEH ??..
Lady: meh..??
Nigel: .. MEH ??..
Lady: meh..??
Nigel: .. MEH ??..
Lady: meh..??
Nigel: .. MEH ??..
Meh = “what?” in cantonese..
Juls: Hi sir, good morning. Don’t worry we are not selling anything. We are agents from (whatever company) and would like to give you this catalogue. YESSS..we are giving it to you!!..FREE. Have a look at it…
Man: errr…I ..
Juls: Have a look at it…
Man: no but I’m..
Juls: so as you can see on your FREE catalogue, we are selling these cakes as display here. We are selling 3 flavors today, pandan, chocolate and the original flavor. Here…touch it…pls…touch it..
YES its cold. And for today we are having special offers.. and today’s the last day. We are selling one cake for only RM 9.90.
Man: no you see..i..
Juls: (absolutely giving him no chance to say anything!!) Now if you would buy the cake from Giant or Carrefour or Tesco, it will cost you around RM 14.90 and the good news is..the cake comes with a FREE plastic knife! Wow you can eat the cake right now!!..
Man: RM 9.90??..that’s expensive..
Juls: (absolutely ignoring any remarks the man is making) so how sir? Only RM 9.90. You can buy for your colleague or family at home… you children would love cakes… Now if you buy all the 3 flavors from me, I will give u another for FREE and best of all…. You will have 4 knifes!!..wow..
so how sir? So how?
Man: no..no thanks..i dun like cake..
Juls: no sir…this one special one…only RM 9.90..today last day de..
Man: no..really I’m not interested..
Juls: I talk so much dee now u say duwan…hai mai wan yeh ar??...( hai mai wan yeh ar = “trying to play games with me” in Cantonese)
Man: ….( nervous )
Kenny: Julie jie…meh sii ar?...SING NGAN CHAI (four eye dude)…HAI MAI WAN YEH ARR??..
Man: okok..i buy I buy…
Juls: ok sir but we are having special of the special promotion now.. if you buy 3 cakes..we give u another one for FREE…so..its 4 cakes for the price of 3..
Man: thanks..i’ll …I’ll..just ..just..have one…
Juls: …..
Kenny: why Julie jie??..is this sing ngan chai giving u trouble again??...HAI MAI WAN YEHH ARRRRR??..
Man: I’ll take 3 pls..
EJ: ..*talking to himself..* why so stupid walk around here and there to sell lar..* setting up his own stall in front of gambling outlets like Magnum, TOTO, and Tai Ma Cai..*
EJ: oi oi…mari marii….kek lapis…hanya RM 9.90..FREE PISAU!!..
Man: eh eh..kek ape nie??
EJ: ahh..ahh..mari mari..tengok catalog dulu…haaaa…mari…..aku buat demo sikit..
Man: eh eh…ada demo ..jom tengok..
EJ: ah…tuan tuan puan puan…ini kek lapis..HA!!..bukan biasa punya kek lapis..!!....ini kek LAPISAN!!...HAAAA…bukan lapis..tapi LAPISAN!!..nampak beza nya??
crowd: wooo…..
EJ: harrr…..ada sejuk..ada tak sejuk…ada 3 perisa…pandan..warna hijau..chocolate..warna chocolate…perisa original..warna original..
Man: macam mane mau makan?
EJ: HAAAA….kalau abang nie beli..i tunjuk sama u cara makan..
Man: boleh test dulu ke?
EJ: eh..u beli nombor kat Magnum boleh test test itu nombor dulu ar??..
Man: macam nie berapa satu?
EJ: hanya RM 9.90 satu!...murah…hari nie last day aku buat promosi…HAA…bukan selalu I ada kat sini…
Nigel: ( running towards EJ, pretending to get more stocks from him..) HAAAA..EJ EJ…
EJ: tuan tuan puan puan..tunggu kejap!..yea dude??
Nigel: eh I got one customer over there just tasted one of the cake and now wanna buy 50 boxes from us…how many u got there??..i’m short of 25..
EJ: I got 30 here….
Nigel: ok..pass to me the 25 first…( and off goes Nigel )
Man: wahhh…laku arr…
EJ: *AHHHEEEEMMMM*….YEAH…mari mari…u nampak tak??..harr…sudah angkat 25 ..tinggal saja 5 kotak…
Man: okok..i beli lima kotak…
Man 2: boss…I bagi 100..u bagi I semua tu..
Man 3: 150..!!
Man 4: 155..!!
Man 2: 200..!!
Crowd: wwoooooo…
EJ: 200 sekali….200 dua kali….200…
Man 4: pukimak..250..!!!
Crowd: wooo…..*clap clap clap clap*…
EJ: 250…250…do I hear 300??...do I hear a 300??..
Lady: 450!!! (it was Je)
Crowd: wahhhhhhh…….
Man 3: 500!!..
EJ: SOLD! At 500!!
Well as you’re wondering that everybody is working, where the hell am i? Being the team leader of course, I will be having my tea at some nearby stall.
Now let’s back track a little.. back to the script and do some justification to it :
“Hi sir, good morning (and / or afternoon). Don’t worry we are not selling anything. We are agents from (whatever company) and would like to give you this catalogue. YESSS..we are giving it to you!!..FREE. Have a look at it.”
“Hi sir, so as you can see on your FREE catalogue, we are selling these cakes as display here (show them the cake that your holding). We are selling 3 flavors today, pandan, chocolate and the original flavor. Here…touch it…pls…touch it..(insist them to touch the cake)…YES its cold. And for today we are having special offers.. and today’s the last day. We are selling one cake for only RM 9.90. Now if you would buy the cake from Giant or Carrefour or Tesco, it will cost you around RM 14.90 and the good news is..the cake comes with a FREE plastic knife! Wow you can eat the cake right now!!..
First, we are telling them that we are not selling anything but would like to give out a free catalogue and the next thing we are telling them that we are selling cake. And as for the catalogue, pf coz its free, who the hell would wanna pay for a catalogue?
And for today we are having special offers.. and today’s the last day = that’s what they all said. Come back tomorrow, they are still around, next week too, the following month too.
RM 9.90 for a stupid cake? I did not come across any “Sri Lapisan” cake in Giant, Carrefour or Tesco.
Free knife? Make it big deal out of it as if it’s a good bargain?
If I would to buy a cake for my colleagues and / or family, I’ll go to some proper cake shop. And seriously, I have seen the cake. Its half the size of the bloody box! For 9.90! it’s a con job. A friggin’ scam! And yes…it really comes with a small plastic knife.
I'm Mr Chan signing off - ah Ju Ju...you dun understand..Ju Ju..
5 Comments:
HAhhahahhahaha!!!
Dude! You are born to be a salesperson man!! Fuck!! You should seriously think about making a career in sales. I think if you had sticked to the Sri Lapisan job stint, you'll be a Sales Manager by now. Even better, GM perhaps.
"big time con job la boss... u sit there and have tea while we work our butt off... how can?"
"if you can sell... i give you the free plastic knife... so nice.. you see... ppl get four i give you 10... now get back to work.. if you recruit ppl to join this sri lapisan thing... i give you more... wat say you? all you gotta do is to get them to invest a little money that's all"
time to blog bout your favourite LB... another con job.. haha!!
heheheh...i will not make it without you lar bro..
ure my inspiration..i think we we run this "business" together..we are as rich as the founder of Lampe Berger dude..!!
think about it..
hahahaha...me boss mar..of coz sit down and goyang kaki lor....just like how i kena last time ok??..
i'll take those pathetic nice and shove it up his sorry ass!!..
LB sounds like a good thing to blog..hahaha..but will need inspiration lar...
Hey, you have a great blog here! I'm definitely going to bookmark you!
I have a trivia games site.
Come and check it out if you get time :-)
Greetings.
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