Stone Elephant
This blog is created by Je and Mr. Chan: Inspired by Batu Gajah (Stone Elephant)
This is a fiction blog. It is NOT based on our true life experience. The reason of it being created is that we need some entertainment to keep our blog going while waiting for Juls to blog.
It all started when I was chatting with Je (Ex-housemate No.2) on MSN.
You know how everyone of us (well, if you dun, too bad..) have a "wish list" of our own. A “wish list” is a list, created by your good self, on the things that you want to have in the near future. Let it be some thing u wanted to buy or some thing that you want to do.
As I was comparing my list with Je’s, there are many items and / or things we wanted to do, both I and Je have in common.
Both of us have this plan in mind that we would like to have our very own jamming studio in our home – not that I am getting a house with Je, more like she would like to have a jamming studio in her own house and I would like to have one for own house.
Having a drum set, guitars, amps, systems, sound proof bla bla.. having friends over for a couple of beers and some jamming would be lovely.
Besides of wanting to have my own jamming studio in my house, I was suggesting to Je that if my house is big enuff, with additional land (something like a corner lot – but I guess it has to be a bungalow), I would build a half court futsol pitch on it !!..
so cool..!!You’ll definitely need a huge house or extra land for this..yea I know…but hey..its just my wishing..again..you’ll never know..
Je: property in balakong is quite reasonable
Me: Balakong??!! Will you come and visit me if my house is in balakong?
Je: hahaha…ahh…ermmm…hmmm….fren fren will come one…once in a year lar…during Chinese New Year
How great is that..!!...once a year..so I’ve concluded that balakong is a sad place..well..at least for me to be at.As we do not meet up with Juls as often as me and Je meet up for tea.. it is as though that Juls lives in Balakong..
Je: balakong?? Juls can go stay in stone elephant la
Stone Elephant (Batu Gajah)… please dun ask me..i dun know this place existed..!! But anyway.. it’s the hometown of Kenny (Jul’s soon to be husband). So people..please have some respect mmm kay??..
So as me and Je was imagining how life’s gonna be in Batu Gajah and what Juls ( the slick city gal ) will be doing if she would to move to Batu Gajah… we naturally talk about the home town like as though it was erm… hmmm… a very interesting place to live in.
(this might sound like an insult to Batu Gajah but sorry lar bro Kenny, we do this merely out of boredom and thought that it is funny… cheers !!.. well..if ya wanna take revenge by insulting my home town…. France… pls go ahead.. :p)
Batu Gajah, a quiet small town, many trees..many camels and cow, some padi field…some rock statue of elephant ( ahhh…so this is why its call Batu (Stone in malay) Gajah (Elephant in malay)).
No tar road, no electricity, no water ( you gotta get it from the public well if there’s any left ) kids running around butt naked … folks playin’ gasing (whatever it is in English – try google “gasing” ) and wau (malay kite) – the only source of entertainment besides getting pregnant.The only transport to travel from one place to another is by Camels. The nearest kedai runcit (convenient store like 7-Eleven – minus the air conditioning, minus the slurpee, minus Big Gulp, minus the electricity, minus the cashier’s uniform) is about 9 KM away..So imagine riding on a Camel for 9 KM to get a pack of ciggy…and riding it back home is another 9 KM.
Here’s scenario 1:
9.00 AM: get the camel ready
10.00 AM: off to get a pack of ciggy
11.00 AM – 1 PM: make a stop at some “pondok” to have lunch pre-packed from home and feed the camel as well.
2 PM: journey continue
4 PM: reach destination only to find that the kedai runcit has moved to another shop which is another 4 KM away..
5 PM: reach the new kedai runcit only to find that the kedai runcit is under “renovation” with a sign “We are renovating to serve you better”
5.15 PM: start journey to go home..
8.30 PM: stop again at the same pondok for dinner..
9.30 PM: the journey to home continue
10.30 PM: reach home.
Conclusion: to and fro to get a pack of ciggy = one whole friggin day and yet, no ciggy.
Scenario 2:
9.00 AM: get the camel ready
10.00 AM: off to get a pack of ciggy and salt
11.00 AM – 1 PM: make a stop at some “pondok” to have lunch pre-packed from home and feed the camel as well.
2 PM: journey continue
4 PM: reach destination. Finally got the pack of ciggy you long for
4.15 PM: since you’re there.. hang for a little while, while enjoying a fag.
5.15 PM: start journey to go home..
8.30 PM: stop again at the same pondok for dinner..
9.30 PM: the journey to home continue
10.30 PM: reach home only to realize that you have forgotten about the salt and the whole family of 40 and wife waiting for that pack of salt to start cooking..
11.00PM: ride camel back to the kedai runcit for salt..
4.00 AM: kedai runcit close but you insist of getting the salt. Kedai runcit man tells you no more stock for garam. Come back tomorrow..
4.15 AM: start journey to go home..Conclusion: reach home the next day afternoon. 1 ½ day gone – still, no salt.
Oh..did I mention that the nearest public telephone booth (the one and only – and it is not guaranteed that its in working condition) is around 17 KM away?
Well since the telephone was far away, they have developed something call “w-mail”.We have e-mails. We have broadbands. But that’s back-dated in Batu Gajah, everything is “wireless” in Batu Gajah. And as for the “w-mail”… the “w” does not stand for “wireless” – it stands for “wall”.
There’s a cave in Batu Gajah where the town folks would leave messages on the wall of the cave to each other. Not in English, not in Chinese, not in Bahasa but in cryptics writing. That way, the other town folks cannot read their messages.
Yes. The Cave of Message (as they call it) is being shared by several towns like Batu Anjing, Batu Harimau, Batu Utan, Batu Jiraf, Batu Kuda Belang and Batu Badak.
Juls is in Batu Gajah, would probably be with 40 kids – that’s the only source of entertainment. Plus, she loves that sort of entertainment anyway. So, it’s not surprising that she has more than 40 kids. As a matter of fact, she might lose track of their names and even how they look like. But, being in that place and the situation, I think the kids are pretty safe to roam around the streets. It’s not like in KL where child kidnapping and rape cases are apparent. At Batu Gajah, you can spread your legs wide and no one would actually jump or hump you except for your husband, well maybe sometimes the neighbors but that’s it.
That’s the entertainment for the ladies. For the guys, besides riding the camel to the kedai runcit and those stupid gasing and those stupid waus, other source of entertainment (again besides humping their own wife or neighbor’s wife) are milking the cows and / or humping the cows, milk the camel (if any) and / or humping the camel. Batu Gajah is all about humping. But what do they do for a living?
Well..Jul’s a housewife and a child producing machine and Kenny, of coz, has his own cows and padis – so basically Kenny’s a business man in Batu Gajah – selling or trading cows with camels – padi with rice – Juls with neighbor’s wife. Yup..they practice the barter system.
You may think that what you just read is plain crap. Think about it… a simple life is not that easy to get nowadays and at the same time it’s quite an experience to be able to live at Stone Elephant a.k.a. Batu Gajah in that kinda condition – no electricity, no entertainment other than making babies and no tar road. And for Juls to live that kinda life really deserves our standing ovation. Perhaps someday both Je and Mr. Chan will go visit her in the forsaken town of Batu Gajah and also to finally meet her new born baby – no. 41 or is it no. 42?
Till then this is Mr. Chan and this is Ex-housemate #2 signing off…. say what??!!
This is a fiction blog. It is NOT based on our true life experience. The reason of it being created is that we need some entertainment to keep our blog going while waiting for Juls to blog.
It all started when I was chatting with Je (Ex-housemate No.2) on MSN.
You know how everyone of us (well, if you dun, too bad..) have a "wish list" of our own. A “wish list” is a list, created by your good self, on the things that you want to have in the near future. Let it be some thing u wanted to buy or some thing that you want to do.
As I was comparing my list with Je’s, there are many items and / or things we wanted to do, both I and Je have in common.
Both of us have this plan in mind that we would like to have our very own jamming studio in our home – not that I am getting a house with Je, more like she would like to have a jamming studio in her own house and I would like to have one for own house.
Having a drum set, guitars, amps, systems, sound proof bla bla.. having friends over for a couple of beers and some jamming would be lovely.
Besides of wanting to have my own jamming studio in my house, I was suggesting to Je that if my house is big enuff, with additional land (something like a corner lot – but I guess it has to be a bungalow), I would build a half court futsol pitch on it !!..
so cool..!!You’ll definitely need a huge house or extra land for this..yea I know…but hey..its just my wishing..again..you’ll never know..
Je: property in balakong is quite reasonable
Me: Balakong??!! Will you come and visit me if my house is in balakong?
Je: hahaha…ahh…ermmm…hmmm….fren fren will come one…once in a year lar…during Chinese New Year
How great is that..!!...once a year..so I’ve concluded that balakong is a sad place..well..at least for me to be at.As we do not meet up with Juls as often as me and Je meet up for tea.. it is as though that Juls lives in Balakong..
Je: balakong?? Juls can go stay in stone elephant la
Stone Elephant (Batu Gajah)… please dun ask me..i dun know this place existed..!! But anyway.. it’s the hometown of Kenny (Jul’s soon to be husband). So people..please have some respect mmm kay??..
So as me and Je was imagining how life’s gonna be in Batu Gajah and what Juls ( the slick city gal ) will be doing if she would to move to Batu Gajah… we naturally talk about the home town like as though it was erm… hmmm… a very interesting place to live in.
(this might sound like an insult to Batu Gajah but sorry lar bro Kenny, we do this merely out of boredom and thought that it is funny… cheers !!.. well..if ya wanna take revenge by insulting my home town…. France… pls go ahead.. :p)
Batu Gajah, a quiet small town, many trees..many camels and cow, some padi field…some rock statue of elephant ( ahhh…so this is why its call Batu (Stone in malay) Gajah (Elephant in malay)).
No tar road, no electricity, no water ( you gotta get it from the public well if there’s any left ) kids running around butt naked … folks playin’ gasing (whatever it is in English – try google “gasing” ) and wau (malay kite) – the only source of entertainment besides getting pregnant.The only transport to travel from one place to another is by Camels. The nearest kedai runcit (convenient store like 7-Eleven – minus the air conditioning, minus the slurpee, minus Big Gulp, minus the electricity, minus the cashier’s uniform) is about 9 KM away..So imagine riding on a Camel for 9 KM to get a pack of ciggy…and riding it back home is another 9 KM.
Here’s scenario 1:
9.00 AM: get the camel ready
10.00 AM: off to get a pack of ciggy
11.00 AM – 1 PM: make a stop at some “pondok” to have lunch pre-packed from home and feed the camel as well.
2 PM: journey continue
4 PM: reach destination only to find that the kedai runcit has moved to another shop which is another 4 KM away..
5 PM: reach the new kedai runcit only to find that the kedai runcit is under “renovation” with a sign “We are renovating to serve you better”
5.15 PM: start journey to go home..
8.30 PM: stop again at the same pondok for dinner..
9.30 PM: the journey to home continue
10.30 PM: reach home.
Conclusion: to and fro to get a pack of ciggy = one whole friggin day and yet, no ciggy.
Scenario 2:
9.00 AM: get the camel ready
10.00 AM: off to get a pack of ciggy and salt
11.00 AM – 1 PM: make a stop at some “pondok” to have lunch pre-packed from home and feed the camel as well.
2 PM: journey continue
4 PM: reach destination. Finally got the pack of ciggy you long for
4.15 PM: since you’re there.. hang for a little while, while enjoying a fag.
5.15 PM: start journey to go home..
8.30 PM: stop again at the same pondok for dinner..
9.30 PM: the journey to home continue
10.30 PM: reach home only to realize that you have forgotten about the salt and the whole family of 40 and wife waiting for that pack of salt to start cooking..
11.00PM: ride camel back to the kedai runcit for salt..
4.00 AM: kedai runcit close but you insist of getting the salt. Kedai runcit man tells you no more stock for garam. Come back tomorrow..
4.15 AM: start journey to go home..Conclusion: reach home the next day afternoon. 1 ½ day gone – still, no salt.
Oh..did I mention that the nearest public telephone booth (the one and only – and it is not guaranteed that its in working condition) is around 17 KM away?
Well since the telephone was far away, they have developed something call “w-mail”.We have e-mails. We have broadbands. But that’s back-dated in Batu Gajah, everything is “wireless” in Batu Gajah. And as for the “w-mail”… the “w” does not stand for “wireless” – it stands for “wall”.
There’s a cave in Batu Gajah where the town folks would leave messages on the wall of the cave to each other. Not in English, not in Chinese, not in Bahasa but in cryptics writing. That way, the other town folks cannot read their messages.
Yes. The Cave of Message (as they call it) is being shared by several towns like Batu Anjing, Batu Harimau, Batu Utan, Batu Jiraf, Batu Kuda Belang and Batu Badak.
Juls is in Batu Gajah, would probably be with 40 kids – that’s the only source of entertainment. Plus, she loves that sort of entertainment anyway. So, it’s not surprising that she has more than 40 kids. As a matter of fact, she might lose track of their names and even how they look like. But, being in that place and the situation, I think the kids are pretty safe to roam around the streets. It’s not like in KL where child kidnapping and rape cases are apparent. At Batu Gajah, you can spread your legs wide and no one would actually jump or hump you except for your husband, well maybe sometimes the neighbors but that’s it.
That’s the entertainment for the ladies. For the guys, besides riding the camel to the kedai runcit and those stupid gasing and those stupid waus, other source of entertainment (again besides humping their own wife or neighbor’s wife) are milking the cows and / or humping the cows, milk the camel (if any) and / or humping the camel. Batu Gajah is all about humping. But what do they do for a living?
Well..Jul’s a housewife and a child producing machine and Kenny, of coz, has his own cows and padis – so basically Kenny’s a business man in Batu Gajah – selling or trading cows with camels – padi with rice – Juls with neighbor’s wife. Yup..they practice the barter system.
You may think that what you just read is plain crap. Think about it… a simple life is not that easy to get nowadays and at the same time it’s quite an experience to be able to live at Stone Elephant a.k.a. Batu Gajah in that kinda condition – no electricity, no entertainment other than making babies and no tar road. And for Juls to live that kinda life really deserves our standing ovation. Perhaps someday both Je and Mr. Chan will go visit her in the forsaken town of Batu Gajah and also to finally meet her new born baby – no. 41 or is it no. 42?
Till then this is Mr. Chan and this is Ex-housemate #2 signing off…. say what??!!
3 Comments:
Aiyo.. really nothing to blog about ar u all?
Blog more about how we gonna earn mor money by selling layer cake la.
it's not that we got nothing to blog about.. it's more like we wait for ur blog until the neck long long mar... we so just had the conversation one day... and wah lah... the blog happened... :)
the story was pretty ok mar dun u think? plus... u were in the limelight juls... say la thank u.. :p
hehhee...
dun worry juls..i am in the midst of bloggin on how to make more money by selling layer cake.
yeah..this blog story kinda happen when i was chatting with Je lar..hahah...
but its cool..
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