Perth Aftermath...Mr Chan first Job..Part 2

Monday morning..

Dress with my new slack, shirt, pen and tie..off i go to start my new job!!

i do not have my own car yet that time so my mom and dad will have to take me to work..it's not far actually... just a short 15 mins drive. PJ Section 13 some industrial area..

15 mins later..i am there..my first job. still too early so my dad suggest that we have some light breakfast at some near by chinese stall.

Kopi-O ice - do not wanna fall asleep in front of the computer during my first day of training..
curry mee - kuey teow mee BIG, add "see ham" - kerang, add "tau foo pok" and add one fried wanton...
Low mai kai - glutonous rice with chicken.

the above was my breakfast, minus off the unfinish fried keuy teow of my mom's.

Maybe a little too much for a light breakie...

Proudly, i walk towards the building..got on to a lift and up it goes to the floor where my office is at.

"BuuuzzzzzZzzZZzzzz....."
the so called secretary spotted me standing in front of the glass door..she waved her hand at me signalling to wait while she open the door for me..

while i was standing at the door, looking through the glass door, i saw a few familiar faces sitting on the couch in the so called waiting area. These are the ppl from the same interview session as me..particularly this chinese girl coz she was hot...( please refer to Perth Aftermath...Mr Chan first Job..) and again she was giving me this look and smile...and this time...she did not strip me with her eyes and looks..she's just unzipping my pants with her smile...and again..i know..a hunk like me is hard to resist i guess. i thought to myself that these will be my fellow colleagues..

A few more fellas dress in formal clothes - slacks, tie, shirt, shinny shoe, neat hair style but not so good looking..one of those typical ah Bengs face - sorry Nigel, i have no bad intention by mentioning ur breeds - and i was thinking to myself..

"oh shit...this ah beng could be my colleague or maybe my senior..fuck...that's it lar..but No..i will not turn into of of them.."

"titttt...teettt.."

the glass door's electro magnetic force is off and i push the door forward but it still doesn't open...what's wrong??...all my fellow colleagues was looking at me puzzled of why i cannot open the door..

give if a few more hard push...still nothing happen..so i hand-signalled the secretary telling her that the fucking door is broken. The other colleagues was still looking puzzled so i kinda tell them through my face expression that the fucking door is broken...

the secretary was giving me some weird hand signal again..i could not figure out what the hell she's trying to say...can't she just walk over and just open the fucking door for me?...

"what?...u wanna give me a handjob?...No?...it looks like it tho'.."
"huh?...u want it from behind?.."
"ohhh....u wanna gimme a blowjob..NO?"

those were my guesses from her little hand-signal games..

as i try to push the door again..looking down at the handle of the glass door...there was a lable just next to the handle...there's 4 alphabets on it in vertical order..

P
U
L
L

....
....
....

Proceed to the secretary's table and fill in a form, just a brief one - name, ic no, tel, email, bla bla bla...and she told me to wait at the couch..and so i did..chose the one nearest to that hot chiq..so that she can gimme the real thing instead of giving it to me with her smile and looks.

It seems like everyone is waiting for their second interview but it turns out to be a job scope briefing..slowly each one of us was called to seperate rooms to be briefed.

"Mr Manson?..this way pls.."

alright!!...my turn...let's get this started!!...i can't wait to get my first car...my first house...my first watch...my gadgets in my "wishlist"..

i was in the same room where my interview was held and the same guy was there too..

"welcome Manson, to our company.."
"Thank you for this opportunity.."
"..i see the potential in you..you will be someone like me one day.."
"i hope so.."
"ok..since today its ur first day, let's take it easy alright?..now i will introduce you to your team leader and he will be training you this week..should you have any doubts or questions...just feel free to tell him or myself ok?...
"sure"
"..ok..now..this is "bla bla" - (forgot his name) your team leader and here are ur colleagues.."

around 8 of them, plus the team leader, plus me..there's 10..wow..a big team eh?
but wait..this team leader is familiar...oh fuck..is that ah beng...shit..now by closer look i swear i saw his forehead writen "CERTIFIED BENG-KIA" - again, sorry Nigel..i meant no harm..

"today, your team leader will bring you to puchong to start ur training ok?"
"sure..and how are we getting there..?"
"do you have a car?"
"no sir"
"ok..don't worry..your transport will be made available."

and so off i got with my team and my leader - let's call him BENG.

all of us then went down to the main street to wait for our so called transportation. We split ourself into 2 groups - 5 each.

along the street i can see the rest of the ppl are doing the same thing..waiting by the road side for their transportation..so does the hot chiq...

"so ah beng ar...are they going to puchong as well" pointing at the other groups..
"nolar..they going cheras.."
"wahh...so many training centre u guys got hor..how many are they ar?"
"..."
"you'll know soon enuff lar.."

minutes later...here comes our ride..

A white color car labled "NISMO" - but too bad...i missed the other half of the lable which spelled "SUNNY 120Y"

yea...a nissan sunny 120y..so much for a nismo..

the car was kinda small and stink..cushions are tearing..the dashboard is falling..there's no radio...and we have to sqeeze 5 of us into the car...

5 of us - excluding the driver ok??..

so imagine this...i was at my best suit with my case of extra pens and paper to note down my training stuff...it was one of my best hair day...i swear brad pitt look like me...ALSO..it was a hot day...sun shinning like there's no tomorrow..i was the first to get into the car - going into the car from left to right and so i was sitting next to the window on the right side...the other slowly join in by sqeezing their way in..

4 of us at the back of the seat while the team leader gets the front seat...my best suit was just declared the smelliest suit...but still..my hair was at its best...thanks to my sister's "paul mitchel hair spray"..so off we go..

i notice that the window was open and so when i was winding it up..

"eh eh..dun clsoe the window...very hot lar.."
"on the air-con lor" i said..
"no air con lar...no gas.." - the driver said..
"just open abit lar...i also wanna smoke" - the guy in the middle said..

i was thinking to myself...what the fuck?..ure sitting in the middle and u wanna smoke now...
i am a smoker myself but pls.. not in the situation where ur boiling in a car with ur best new suits with the temperature of 37 degrees and in a car with no air con..

before i could voice out...the ciggy was burning already and the others happily join along..

ah bengs..it takes one to know another...

what to do?...i'm stuck here..so have to open the window lor...

the ride was slow and it took us around 30 mins to get to the place where the so called training was..some industrial area of puchong and it was damm secluded..the team leader suggest that we have something to eat first and so we stop at the nearest mamak store..

got down from the car..with my smelliest suit which has just turn into a wet suit - sweats..
and my hair..kinda look like johnny depp now - a little messy...but nevermind lar..no chiq around so fuck it..

as i already had my meal..

"teh-ais satu.." was my only order..

now its my turn to light up a ciggy...
not much was spoken among us as they are hungry and busy swallowing their food.

"so what is today's training about"..i asked the team leader who just finish his food.
"ok..u have pen and paper..let me show you the flow.."

i thought to myself..wow..a flow..must be some program flow..some diagrams..and stuff like that..but then to my surprised..he was showing me some business flow...i was really confused and puzzled...somehow it looks like a flow of selling something..

"OK?..you understand"...
of coz not ...." No i dun..can u explain again..?"
"ok..easy...ah sing ar sing..can u bring down the cataloge"?

wait a minute...a catalogue?..ohh i get it..we are some software or hardware company...selling softwares, servers, mainframes, firewall etc...cool...

as ah sing was walking back rom his car..he brought along a stacks of papers - catalogues...

as ah BENG show the catalogue to me...my first swearing of the day...

"tiu nia ma ka chow hai lor....."...mat chat lei keh??.."
what the hell is this?...as i read the title..it says..

"SRI LAPISAN" Layer KEK - 3 perisa, Asli, Pandan dan Chokolat! Harga Pasaran: RM14.90 Sekarang Hanya RM 9.90. Pisau plastic disediakan!"

the more i look at it..the more i swear..those words just keep coming out of no where..
"ma ka haiiiiiii..........."...ham karrrr channnnnn.."

i was speecless...

"what is this?" - i asked BENG..
"ok..here's what u need to do...ok?...when u approach ur customer..tell them the most important point that we are not selling anything... we just wanna show you our catalogue and its free..the catalogue is for you..FREE...but if they are interested..they can order by calling the number provided else we can deliver it them on spot..we have stocks with us now.."

Tiu lor....what stocks??....where are the stocks??..
ma ka hai...the catalogue is showing a fucking layer kek for fucking 9.90 lar ma chow hai..and ure telling me to tell them that we are not selling stuff??...

suddenly..my teh-ais taste bitter..the whole world was crumbling down...i was bend over by some huge dudes and they strip me from the waist down..lubricating my ass...

"ok..then if they dun want to take ur catalogue...just leave it on their table..then u just go off....and come back in a minute..and if they are looking at the catalogue...show them the cake..let them see and feel it...and tell them its cold..and its very nice...they them the difference between the price from us and from outside market."

suddenly i can hear people laughing at the back of me..and i feel something big and hard poking my ass...oh my god...i just got fucked in the ass!!!....HELLPPPP!!..

"but later u follow me lar..see how i do it...then u do ok?...ok..here are the stocks...but u can leave it in the car lar.."

i can feel my ass hole is burning...tears coming out from my eyes...then it stops..a little relief..

"but later u have to walk back to the shops u have visited to show them the "product" lor...actually not much only...one box got 30 boxes of kek."

i was rested from the back but now i was force to suck his huge cock and he would like to cum in my mouth...oh my godddddddddddddddddddddddddd.................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i did not say a single word as i know i was conned into this fucking direct sales shit...worst of all...selling layer kek from indonesia..MA KA CHOW HAI..@!@@

i was pissed..i was angry...but i did not show it yet..

as the so called "training" start...i follow ah BENG from shop to shop..looking and listening to his presentation..and it goes something like this.."

"morning sir...dun worry..we are not selling anything..i just want to show you this catalogue..its FREE...YOU CAN HAVE IT..and if ure interested..u can call us at this number at the bottom. OK?...thanks.."

To the next shop..the same thing..same speech..

As we move on..i was praying that i do not bump into anyone i know..."oh pls god..plssss....pls dun let me get into someone i know..pls god..i promise i'll be nice...i promise i'll return Juls underwear as soon as EJ return mine..pls help me god pls.."

I was walking in the hot sun...from shop to shop...climbing up stairs and all..with my best suits..which has just become my WET suit...with my tie..my new leather shoe..my best hair...i was sweating from the heat...and i can feel the so call hair spray is melting coz the sweats from my head was white color...GOD DAMM IT..!!!!

I WANT TO GO HOME NOW...but i can't..coz i have no transport and i dun know where the hell i am..and i dun see any cabs around..i'm fucking stuck here with these monkeys and crappy cake..

i have no choice but to blend in..

"ok now u have seen how i present right?.." the next one you try..

and so i did..

"layer cake..RM 10.00..no?..ok bye." - and this carry on for the next 10 or so customers..

surprisingly some people will actually take out RM 10 to buy the cake...and when they say "yea..ok...gimme one box.."
i was like.." are you serious? "..
then the guy said.."yea...of coz..why?"..
i just keep my mouth shut and take the money and give him the stupid layer cake..
and i was telling myself.." marvelous...there's actually ppl who wants to buy this kinda cake for RM 10."

then the ah beng said to me."manson..you cannot present like this..you must follow the way i did mar...and why u go tell the fella "are you serious?" when he wanna buy?...if he wanna buy..we should ask him to buy more.."

ma ka hai....

i cannot take this shit anymore...firstly, i was cheated...got fucked right in the ass...i am in my best suit and now a wet suit..i'm sweating like a pig..and my hair is a disaster...i have to carry all these stupid cakes walk around the hot sun looking like a hard labourer who wears the wrong type of clothes to work..

me: "look..i apply for an IT job...not selling cake ok?..your company cheated me and ur boss lied to me...i will not do this anymore ok??..take ur cakes...i'm leaving.."
Beng: oh is that right?..too bad..you have to finish this whole box of cake only you can go..
me: oh really??..fine..i'll finish the cake..watch me...( i walk up to the nearest drain...and i throw all the cakes into the drain..) - yup..that's what i did..and of coz..by doing that..i am prepared to be in a big fight...i dun give a shit that time as my anger and the heat from the weather is taking over me..
Beng: ma hai...what the fuck u doing?.. - started pushing me..and soon 2 more so called colleague join in...
me: what you gonna do you piece of shit?..you wanna go??..bring it on...all three of you..COME AT ONE GO..dun waste time..COME...COME!!...

I was yelling at the top of my lungs...

nothing happen..as i expected..so i just left the place...walk my way out to the nearest main road..waited for fucking 30 mins or so and manage to get a cab. I told the cab driver to get me back to the office...coz i'm gonna screw the boss too..

got back to the office around noon...stomped into the office...saw the boss was smoking...i told him off by yelling at him that he's a fucking liar and will meet his maker soon..

and the fucker told me " you dun want the job??..that's fine...lots of ppl are waiting..good luck in getting an IT job.."

no doubt during that time the market was flooded with IT professionals..but i can live without a job still..

"fuck you...i dun need ur fucking job..its a conned job anyway..i can survive..and i will bring this matter to the press..!"

so i just left..and of coz i will not waste my time in complaning the matter to the press...called my dad to pick me up and told him what happen..

he laugh at me..

Just fucking great..!!

so much for my first job experience..

Till next blog..

I'm Mr Chan signing off - ah Ju Ju...you dun understand..Ju Ju..

Je's first job

When I first returned from Perth, I have no intention to start work immediately. I applied for a few jobs while waiting for my graduation. Until I finally had my graduation ceremony that I start really look for a job. My first job was pretty interesting I would say because I get to meet people of different characters. Some came to me because they just want to appear on TV or print ads. Others come to me with the reason to be a star. We accept anyone as long as they have a good personality and character. As explained earlier by Mr. Chan, as long as they have the necessary criteria for the position, we'll take them, try them out to see whether they fit that role.

So, how did I come to know about this position? The usual, flip through newspaper, try to get lucky with any job. In fact, I went for several interviews before I get offered in this casting agency. And the funny thing is, I did not even apply to work as a marketing person there. It just happened. Haha... Not quite. I was recommended this job actually by #3. Earlier on she went for an interview at this company in Taman Tun that got her her very first job. She then recommended me to the big boss of the group of companies. So I went and met up with him. Talk a bit. Laugh a bit. The usual stuff. Since he has met #3 and know that we both graduated from Curtin, there's really not much of an introduction to make.

Before long, I was offered this job in another company dealing with talents whilst #3 worked for a production house. In other words, both me and #3 were colleagues after we graduated even though we work under different companies. Thanks to #3 who kept us close. We'll meet up quite often though we do not share the same office. She worked at Taman Tun and my office is situated in Phileo Damansara 1. I usually go over to Taman Tun for meetings and we'll proceed to lunch, shopping and other stuffs. That was the kinda life after Perth. Sometimes we meet up after work to catch up some more together with Mr. Chan. I'll leave #3 story to Mr. Chan if he would like to talk bout her in another blog.

Getting up early for me wasn't entirely a problem because I only need to get up at 8am, change, have breaky and leave at 9am. Work starts only at 10am. So it wasn't that hard to adjust. Only thing I miss was the time spent lepaking in shopping malls, catching good movies on a weekday afternoon, yum cha at anytime of the day and napping. I guess there come a time where everyone needs to grow up and a new chapter is written.

We tried meeting up with Juls. But with her busy schedule as a copywriter in Rapp Collins, that wasn't possible. Because she writes well, she's always in high demand. She'll write and rewrite and rewrite some more till her fingers worn out. Besides, her part time job as an artist, I mean as an object to be drawn by artist takes up even more of her time. Hence, even lesser opportunity to meet up. But thanks to the world of technology, we can keep everyone intact. We can communicate while we work everyday. Gossip bout things even though there are nothing much to gossip about. Create our own stories, blog bout our simple life and update each other bout the happenings in our own life and the lives of the people around us that we know.

Now that we are more stable in our career, meeting up was not really a big deal. Only need to inform earlier. Please refer below on the timing each of us need to meet up:

Mr. Chan: Immediate notice
Je: Almost immediate notice
Juls: 1 month ahead of time

Seeing that some of us need earlier notice to meet up, that helps us to plan ahead of time to ensure that everything will turn out smoothly. Grown ups have so many planning to do. Sigh! Gone are the carefree days. But it really helps us to mature except for Mr. Chan who was a clown, who is still a clown and who will always be our clown.

That's the kinda life we are having now.... Stay tune for more.

This is ex-housemate no. 2 signing off - Take care of yourself ... and each other

Perth Aftermath...Mr Chan first Job..

My first job wasn't as professional as Juls and Je or as i expect it to be..My second job takes me off to the level of professional i'll say..

I can only share Jul's and Je's first job experiences briefly and i will have to let them go in detail on their first job experience here..

The reason why i can only share their experiences so briefly is because that there was some communication break down for a moment after perth. Guess we are all busy with our individual schedule and jobs.

i keep in touch alot with Jelita on MSN and sometimes we meet up for coffee and also because of the "brotherhood" of broken mountains with Je's boyfriend Mr E.J.

To EJ: Dude...i lost of my fav. underwear lar...izzit in ur room aR?..if you find it...pls return it to me ok??..DUN WASH IT...the smell is priceless..!!

I did not really keep in touch with Juls..not even on MSN..only once in a blue moon either me or her will leave a message.

i dunno why..but anyway...Juls in perth and Juls in KL are two different kind of ppl...and of coz...i love Juls the way she is now!!...Keep it up yo!!...Rock On!!..

An as for Je..she has been the same..and she is still our "mom"...only fairer and got prettier...*ahem...* - thanks for coffee Je..but seriously...u go plastic surgery??..coz i remember there's once EJ was very broke. He said that he has used a big sum of money on some surgery..but anyway...i told him no worries...we are the sworn "brotherhood" of the broken mountain..i will take "care" of him.

Do stay tune for "The chronicles of the brotherhood of "break your back mountain" - a new recruit in the brotherhood ring will be introduced - Nigel a.k.a Rupert a.k.a Heartthrob.

I am really glad that we got close again - with Je, and Juls - thanks to MSN. MSN, stupid messages, hot juicy gossips from Je has kept our bonds of housemate together again..and growing .. keep it up!!!..

and as for now..i will share with you my first job experience...most of you know the story..how detail of it i do not know but what the heck..

Let's start off by putting #3 out of the picture for a while..

After Perth, i was bumming around for a short 1 month or so..was not in a hurry to get a job as i wanna take some break time myself...party as hard as i can..coz i know..once i start working...i do not have much luxury of time to party the way i wanna..

Mom: are you gonna get a job?
Me: ..i think so..why?..
Mom: when?
Me: soon i guess...why?..
Mom: do you know what time izit now?
Me: 4 pm?..why?
Mom: and you just got up from bed since yester-night?
Me: since this morning actually "pai seh"..why?..
Mom: look in the mirror and u'll know why..
Me: ....As i stroll stonely to the bathroom..look myself in the mirror..."..damm..i look like crap!.."obviously...i have not gotten enuff sleep...i did not shave in days...did not cut my hair...kinda look like "SLASH" from GNR..nostril hair dangling from my nose..have not trim that in days too...and i smell like a dead carcass..it was not a pretty sight..very very disturbing..

i told myself..well..maybe its time to get a job...

so..clean myself up...got a hair cut..and now when i look into the mirror..i called the cops.."hello?...police....??....i need help!!...there's a handsome man in my house... .... .... oh wait... ... ...that's me.."

Finally i can see some "smiles" on my mom's face after days of her grumpy mood..bought myself a copy of "the star" and after browsing thru the news..(yea right..c'mon..how many of us actually read the news in detailed??...like what the PM do today...this company having a scandal with that company..politics....well if ya do...probably a nerd...to be honest...i just browse thru the paper very quickly and the only news would stop me are those titles or headlines which consist of "rape"..."murder"..."severed"..."ah long"..."killed".."kidnapped" and "sex" and of coz..sports...not the local one..)

was going thru the "classified" pages for job vacant that suits my area of knowledge..my area of knowledge:

1. bullshitting..
2. more bullshitting..
3. extreme bullshitting..

then i came across this small tiny add:

" IT EXECUTIVE - Exp Salary 2000 - 2500. Fresh Grads are encourage to apply. pls call 03-XXXX XXXX or send your resume to bla@bla.com."

Hmm...fresh grads are encourage to apply..hey..that's me..!!...and so i send my resume to the email stated in the ad and do a follow up call the next day to confirm that they have receive my resume.

That's not the only job that i've applied for..there's lots more..but none came back.

a month later..some company call me up for an interview and it was the company that i've called to confirm on my resume. I was happy. Looking forward to the interview and was very nervous at the same time as this is my first interview.."like a virgin...touch for the very first time...like a ...viiirrrrrr........iiirrrrrr..gin..."
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...
...
The office was in PJ - sec 13 - some industrial park i supposed...the office itself was located inside this so called "business centre" but it sure don't look like one as the place is not occupied..i would say around 80% not occupied. Anyway, it took me around 20 minutes to find the office.

Made a few calls to the office for direction and it got me there. When i was about to go into the office..i can see thru the glass door of the office that there's at least 20 or so other applicant waiting for their interview session..some girls (one of em' was pretty hot..and i swear she peep at me so many times and at some point i can feel that she is stripping me with her eyes...sigh...a hunk like me is hard to resist i guess...*ahem..*..*cough--bullshit!!*..)..mostly indian dudes..( these guys are good in IT..and they are BLACK..dun get me wrong..i'm no racist..but there's one guy..he's so BLACK..blacker than black black..even when a nigga pass him by would say "now that's a black motherfucker right there..."..and i;m not surprised that his shadow got confuse sometimes.."am i following you or you're following me?..what the fuck is going on here..??" ...). I thought to myself.."that's it..how am i gonna compete with these ppl here??...i'm a fresh grad and they look like some experience fucks..." and so i was getting more nervous and my heart's pumping faster.

As this is my first interview...and i have not work in a office before..i was clad with a pair of jeans that i have not wash since the first day i bought it...almost 2 years..a collar T..and a pair of sneakers..where as the rest of the applicant..formal.

Some went into the interview room and came out in a short 15 minutes screaming and shouting saying that they got the job and this has just make my day worse...a few more applicant going in and out of the place with joy and sorrow and finally...my name was called.

"Mr Manson..your intervewer is ready to see you now"

I was nervous..sitting down on a chair with cold sweat dripping from my forehead...in front of me here's an ashtray...and the intervewer was the boss and yet a smoker..kinda young looking fella - around mid 30s judging from his look

"do you smoke?"
"yes sir.."
"have a stick.."
"thanks but no thanks.."

the interview session started out with some casual self introduction. As i mentioned that i just came back from Australia..

"really?...which part of australia" - he sounded pretty excited about it..
"perth sir.."
"which part?.."
"Curtin University..in Bentley.."
"well...whaddaya know?..he said excitedly "..i graduated from the same place back in 19.. (some yester-years...cannot remember)
"wow..great..!"

And the conversation carry on mostly about the things and life in perth and Curtin.

Come to think of it we do really talk about the job description..all i could remember from the conversation was the salary..

"RM 1200 for a start..after 3 - 6 months (probation) and we will revise your pay based on performance..."(you cheap son of a bitch!!!...RM1200??...but i need a job to get more working experience so..what the fuck..RM 1200 it is..)
"so does that means i'm hired?"..
"yup...see you next monday..we'll start off by some "industrial training"

As excited as the rest...i end my day with a big relieve and a big "thank god" and a big smile on my face and i can hear a music playing in my head..

"what the world....is now..is love...sweet love..."

As soon as i got home..i told my mom about the good news and on the same night..SHOPPING!!....shoes...slacks...shirts...belt..can't wait for monday...

to be continue...

I'm Mr Chan signing off - ah Ju Ju...you dun understand..Ju Ju..

Perth Aftermath...

The end of Perth brings the birth of 3 Young Professionals and a tramp.

3 professinals and a tramp? who are the professionals and what's a tramp?

For the defination of tramp, please use google and if you need more clarification on the defination of tramp, please call my walking dictionary 1-800-nigel-he-bitch-man-gina - 30 lines and they're always open.

The 3 professionals are non other than:
1) Mr Chan a.k.a Mr Chan
2) Julie a.k.a Housemate No 1
3) Jelita a.k.a Housemate No 2

pretty obvious who's the tramp huh?

I got this quote somewhere but can't remember where, it goes "Our future is so bright that we have to wear sunglasses.." my oh my...that's so lame..i can still remember the first time i read this quote... the lamest shitty quote i've ever come across and i dun even wanna go through the next one..but here's something from me..

"Our future is so bright that we have to wear sunglasses...AND sun block"
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see??...see the differences?..mine is so much cooler huh? after my brilliant modification, the quote is so cool dun cha think? If you disagree with me, ure so not-cool and its pretty obvious that you have got "no taste"...like the chinese say.."mou tey see"
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Now lets put all those room raiding, cross-dressing, panty sniffing, the wild sex, the "art" classes, the drug abuse and trafficking, the chor tai dees, the crow, Joe's accent, the used condoms in Jul's room, the dead and dried up sperms in the used condom, birth control pills, the fungus infesting panty in Je's room, the un-used candles, cuffs and whip in my room, the glorious beer and liquor bottle above the fridge, the moldy donuts in the history book but memory remains - good and bad times...mostly good times!!

Among the 4 (me, Juls, Je, #3) of us, Juls is the first one to graduate - Ms Smarty pants - and the first to head back to KL. And since Juls is the first one to leave us in Perth, let's start off with Juls.

I am sure that Juls bum around a little before making any plans to get a job. I dunno much in detail of Juls when she's back in KL coz me and Je were still in Perth.

But anyway, Juls started off her career path in ART. Wow...she's an artist?..art director at such a young age? Nope and nope. Almost like an artist but instead of sketching potraits and stuff...she's being potraited and sketched. She's obsessed with naked potrait of herselfs and often volunteer ... sometimes threaten artist....to skecth a potrait of her...naked, in the studios, in shopping mall art gallery, some artist trying to make a living in pasar malam, etc.

Now this is only some voluntary fetish of Juls and there's no way you can make a living by being potraited of sketched.

Juls first professional job started off in an Ad agency as a copywritter in Phileo Damansara. Now, i have to say that Juls is one hell of a writer. She writes really well - in my opinion at least. You can get some of her works in:

1. How to be a HUSTLER
2. How to fuck a nigga
3. How to "eat" a footlong sausage
4. How to draw
5. How to snort wasabe
6. How to shave your pussy-cat
7. ...and many more...

Anyway, she did not last long in the ad agency - lasted less than 3 months - this is because the company's direction and her writting direction is not on the same path. The company want's Juls to write professional text for adverts like for example "Marlboro". She need to write some professional and eye-catching tagline for "Marlboro" and this is what she came out with...

"Marlboro - Mari Aku Rasa Lubang Buntut Ooo Rasa Oren"

I'll leave it here for Juls to continue her career story...

Now Jelita. Je left Perth before me and so me and #3 was the last one to leave Perth. Again, i do not know whether or not did Je bum around a little before starting the engine to her career but i am sure she did...more or less..who doesn't anyway?

Je started off her professional career as a marketing person in a casting agency. Her job was to recruit talents for events, TV commercial, advertising, rituals, brothels, nightclub, KTV, spa and etc...

Now again, Je is very good at what she do in the casting agency. Je was involved in a few major projects, namely..

1) Events - Bangbus #69, Cumfiesta, How to fuck a nigga - in collaboration with Julie...
2) TV Commercials & Ads - the new "Marlboro" ad - in collaboration with Julie...

Besides TV commercials, ads and events, Je also recruit other talents for her other clients for part-time jobs. They are:

1) Talent for drug smuggling - many of today's successful triads has much to thank to Je for providing such good young and dangerous and talented drug smugglers who successfully smuggled the drugs and pass our local customs and police...
how did they do it? just shove it up ur asshole.

2) Talent for gang fights - again..the triad thank Je for the "warriors" she helped recruit.
3) Talent for porn magz - Je do not have any specific criteria when comes to scouting pornstar...as long as u have big boobs and a decent look, you're on the list..

4) Talent for porn movies - again..big boobs with decent look and with good moans - fake or not...doesn't matter..
5) Talent for "Calender Girl" - yup..big boobs is all it takes.

If you you think that you have a huge dick with pornstar "ever long lasting" stamina and you have a boob as big as Pam's..pls call 1-800-Je-mamasan for an casting appoinment.

Je also did not last long in that casting agency but i'll leave it here for Je to continue her career journey..

And as for me... i am making plan to have a plan to get a job...stay tune for my "First Job experience"..

till then..

I'm Mr Chan signing off - ah Ju Ju...you dun understand..Ju Ju..

So long, farewell…

Winter’s in, winter’s out,
Summer’s here & without a doubt
For the 4 Stooges the good times are to come to an end,
Kinda like what happens when you’ve run out of money to spend,
(Yes, I know you, know who I’m talking about..)

The semester ends & a new one begins,
Bringing with it a lot of change in the winds,
Alas, the 4 Stooges must pack up and go,
For their degrees have been earned & gotten so,

On an airplane they hop back to Kay Ell,
Lugging lots of luggage, memories, dreams & …..
Oh you get what I mean, what the hell,

They bid goodbye to Perth with a heavy heart,
Bye to Norman Street, St. James & delicious chocolate chip cookies from K-Mart,

They whisper so long to David Thamb & Mrs. Kay,
As well as to the bond money which they weren’t paid,

They say adieu & take care to Oriel’s, Fast Ed’s, Conca’s and all their delicious fare,
Goodbye to seafood chowder, fish & chips & all the wondrous food that went straight to their hips (and Mr. Chan’s tummy),

They said ‘Have fun!’ to the puddle surfing fellow with the green car,
They said “Nice meeting ya!’ to Joe & his art bazaar,

Goodbye to the heater that heats nothing at all,
Goodbye to the crows that go, ‘Caw, caw, caw’,

Goodbye to Minah & her stupid Malay band,
Goodbye to stale donuts that would start going green and bland,

Goodbye to scary screensavers that freak them out in the hall,
Goodbye to Juls broken slippers and playing football,

Most importantly, they kissed their freedom forever goodbye,
To step into the world as good, hard-working individuals like you and I,

And now, when you see them around,
Sitting at the mamak, laughing the place down,

Try asking them, “What do they miss most on earth?”
They’ll say…

Mr. Chan: We miss Perth…


#1 & #2: Yeah… we do Ron, Ron, Ron,
We do Ron, Ron…..

So, thus a chapter in the lives of the Usual Gang of Idiots ends here.
But all is not lost, for now, stories of the Usual Gang continues in Kay Ell..

Here's EX Housemate #1 a.k.a Juls - tea addict signing off...