Perth Aftermath...Mr Chan first Job..Part 2

Monday morning..

Dress with my new slack, shirt, pen and tie..off i go to start my new job!!

i do not have my own car yet that time so my mom and dad will have to take me to work..it's not far actually... just a short 15 mins drive. PJ Section 13 some industrial area..

15 mins later..i am there..my first job. still too early so my dad suggest that we have some light breakfast at some near by chinese stall.

Kopi-O ice - do not wanna fall asleep in front of the computer during my first day of training..
curry mee - kuey teow mee BIG, add "see ham" - kerang, add "tau foo pok" and add one fried wanton...
Low mai kai - glutonous rice with chicken.

the above was my breakfast, minus off the unfinish fried keuy teow of my mom's.

Maybe a little too much for a light breakie...

Proudly, i walk towards the building..got on to a lift and up it goes to the floor where my office is at.

"BuuuzzzzzZzzZZzzzz....."
the so called secretary spotted me standing in front of the glass door..she waved her hand at me signalling to wait while she open the door for me..

while i was standing at the door, looking through the glass door, i saw a few familiar faces sitting on the couch in the so called waiting area. These are the ppl from the same interview session as me..particularly this chinese girl coz she was hot...( please refer to Perth Aftermath...Mr Chan first Job..) and again she was giving me this look and smile...and this time...she did not strip me with her eyes and looks..she's just unzipping my pants with her smile...and again..i know..a hunk like me is hard to resist i guess. i thought to myself that these will be my fellow colleagues..

A few more fellas dress in formal clothes - slacks, tie, shirt, shinny shoe, neat hair style but not so good looking..one of those typical ah Bengs face - sorry Nigel, i have no bad intention by mentioning ur breeds - and i was thinking to myself..

"oh shit...this ah beng could be my colleague or maybe my senior..fuck...that's it lar..but No..i will not turn into of of them.."

"titttt...teettt.."

the glass door's electro magnetic force is off and i push the door forward but it still doesn't open...what's wrong??...all my fellow colleagues was looking at me puzzled of why i cannot open the door..

give if a few more hard push...still nothing happen..so i hand-signalled the secretary telling her that the fucking door is broken. The other colleagues was still looking puzzled so i kinda tell them through my face expression that the fucking door is broken...

the secretary was giving me some weird hand signal again..i could not figure out what the hell she's trying to say...can't she just walk over and just open the fucking door for me?...

"what?...u wanna give me a handjob?...No?...it looks like it tho'.."
"huh?...u want it from behind?.."
"ohhh....u wanna gimme a blowjob..NO?"

those were my guesses from her little hand-signal games..

as i try to push the door again..looking down at the handle of the glass door...there was a lable just next to the handle...there's 4 alphabets on it in vertical order..

P
U
L
L

....
....
....

Proceed to the secretary's table and fill in a form, just a brief one - name, ic no, tel, email, bla bla bla...and she told me to wait at the couch..and so i did..chose the one nearest to that hot chiq..so that she can gimme the real thing instead of giving it to me with her smile and looks.

It seems like everyone is waiting for their second interview but it turns out to be a job scope briefing..slowly each one of us was called to seperate rooms to be briefed.

"Mr Manson?..this way pls.."

alright!!...my turn...let's get this started!!...i can't wait to get my first car...my first house...my first watch...my gadgets in my "wishlist"..

i was in the same room where my interview was held and the same guy was there too..

"welcome Manson, to our company.."
"Thank you for this opportunity.."
"..i see the potential in you..you will be someone like me one day.."
"i hope so.."
"ok..since today its ur first day, let's take it easy alright?..now i will introduce you to your team leader and he will be training you this week..should you have any doubts or questions...just feel free to tell him or myself ok?...
"sure"
"..ok..now..this is "bla bla" - (forgot his name) your team leader and here are ur colleagues.."

around 8 of them, plus the team leader, plus me..there's 10..wow..a big team eh?
but wait..this team leader is familiar...oh fuck..is that ah beng...shit..now by closer look i swear i saw his forehead writen "CERTIFIED BENG-KIA" - again, sorry Nigel..i meant no harm..

"today, your team leader will bring you to puchong to start ur training ok?"
"sure..and how are we getting there..?"
"do you have a car?"
"no sir"
"ok..don't worry..your transport will be made available."

and so off i got with my team and my leader - let's call him BENG.

all of us then went down to the main street to wait for our so called transportation. We split ourself into 2 groups - 5 each.

along the street i can see the rest of the ppl are doing the same thing..waiting by the road side for their transportation..so does the hot chiq...

"so ah beng ar...are they going to puchong as well" pointing at the other groups..
"nolar..they going cheras.."
"wahh...so many training centre u guys got hor..how many are they ar?"
"..."
"you'll know soon enuff lar.."

minutes later...here comes our ride..

A white color car labled "NISMO" - but too bad...i missed the other half of the lable which spelled "SUNNY 120Y"

yea...a nissan sunny 120y..so much for a nismo..

the car was kinda small and stink..cushions are tearing..the dashboard is falling..there's no radio...and we have to sqeeze 5 of us into the car...

5 of us - excluding the driver ok??..

so imagine this...i was at my best suit with my case of extra pens and paper to note down my training stuff...it was one of my best hair day...i swear brad pitt look like me...ALSO..it was a hot day...sun shinning like there's no tomorrow..i was the first to get into the car - going into the car from left to right and so i was sitting next to the window on the right side...the other slowly join in by sqeezing their way in..

4 of us at the back of the seat while the team leader gets the front seat...my best suit was just declared the smelliest suit...but still..my hair was at its best...thanks to my sister's "paul mitchel hair spray"..so off we go..

i notice that the window was open and so when i was winding it up..

"eh eh..dun clsoe the window...very hot lar.."
"on the air-con lor" i said..
"no air con lar...no gas.." - the driver said..
"just open abit lar...i also wanna smoke" - the guy in the middle said..

i was thinking to myself...what the fuck?..ure sitting in the middle and u wanna smoke now...
i am a smoker myself but pls.. not in the situation where ur boiling in a car with ur best new suits with the temperature of 37 degrees and in a car with no air con..

before i could voice out...the ciggy was burning already and the others happily join along..

ah bengs..it takes one to know another...

what to do?...i'm stuck here..so have to open the window lor...

the ride was slow and it took us around 30 mins to get to the place where the so called training was..some industrial area of puchong and it was damm secluded..the team leader suggest that we have something to eat first and so we stop at the nearest mamak store..

got down from the car..with my smelliest suit which has just turn into a wet suit - sweats..
and my hair..kinda look like johnny depp now - a little messy...but nevermind lar..no chiq around so fuck it..

as i already had my meal..

"teh-ais satu.." was my only order..

now its my turn to light up a ciggy...
not much was spoken among us as they are hungry and busy swallowing their food.

"so what is today's training about"..i asked the team leader who just finish his food.
"ok..u have pen and paper..let me show you the flow.."

i thought to myself..wow..a flow..must be some program flow..some diagrams..and stuff like that..but then to my surprised..he was showing me some business flow...i was really confused and puzzled...somehow it looks like a flow of selling something..

"OK?..you understand"...
of coz not ...." No i dun..can u explain again..?"
"ok..easy...ah sing ar sing..can u bring down the cataloge"?

wait a minute...a catalogue?..ohh i get it..we are some software or hardware company...selling softwares, servers, mainframes, firewall etc...cool...

as ah sing was walking back rom his car..he brought along a stacks of papers - catalogues...

as ah BENG show the catalogue to me...my first swearing of the day...

"tiu nia ma ka chow hai lor....."...mat chat lei keh??.."
what the hell is this?...as i read the title..it says..

"SRI LAPISAN" Layer KEK - 3 perisa, Asli, Pandan dan Chokolat! Harga Pasaran: RM14.90 Sekarang Hanya RM 9.90. Pisau plastic disediakan!"

the more i look at it..the more i swear..those words just keep coming out of no where..
"ma ka haiiiiiii..........."...ham karrrr channnnnn.."

i was speecless...

"what is this?" - i asked BENG..
"ok..here's what u need to do...ok?...when u approach ur customer..tell them the most important point that we are not selling anything... we just wanna show you our catalogue and its free..the catalogue is for you..FREE...but if they are interested..they can order by calling the number provided else we can deliver it them on spot..we have stocks with us now.."

Tiu lor....what stocks??....where are the stocks??..
ma ka hai...the catalogue is showing a fucking layer kek for fucking 9.90 lar ma chow hai..and ure telling me to tell them that we are not selling stuff??...

suddenly..my teh-ais taste bitter..the whole world was crumbling down...i was bend over by some huge dudes and they strip me from the waist down..lubricating my ass...

"ok..then if they dun want to take ur catalogue...just leave it on their table..then u just go off....and come back in a minute..and if they are looking at the catalogue...show them the cake..let them see and feel it...and tell them its cold..and its very nice...they them the difference between the price from us and from outside market."

suddenly i can hear people laughing at the back of me..and i feel something big and hard poking my ass...oh my god...i just got fucked in the ass!!!....HELLPPPP!!..

"but later u follow me lar..see how i do it...then u do ok?...ok..here are the stocks...but u can leave it in the car lar.."

i can feel my ass hole is burning...tears coming out from my eyes...then it stops..a little relief..

"but later u have to walk back to the shops u have visited to show them the "product" lor...actually not much only...one box got 30 boxes of kek."

i was rested from the back but now i was force to suck his huge cock and he would like to cum in my mouth...oh my godddddddddddddddddddddddddd.................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i did not say a single word as i know i was conned into this fucking direct sales shit...worst of all...selling layer kek from indonesia..MA KA CHOW HAI..@!@@

i was pissed..i was angry...but i did not show it yet..

as the so called "training" start...i follow ah BENG from shop to shop..looking and listening to his presentation..and it goes something like this.."

"morning sir...dun worry..we are not selling anything..i just want to show you this catalogue..its FREE...YOU CAN HAVE IT..and if ure interested..u can call us at this number at the bottom. OK?...thanks.."

To the next shop..the same thing..same speech..

As we move on..i was praying that i do not bump into anyone i know..."oh pls god..plssss....pls dun let me get into someone i know..pls god..i promise i'll be nice...i promise i'll return Juls underwear as soon as EJ return mine..pls help me god pls.."

I was walking in the hot sun...from shop to shop...climbing up stairs and all..with my best suits..which has just become my WET suit...with my tie..my new leather shoe..my best hair...i was sweating from the heat...and i can feel the so call hair spray is melting coz the sweats from my head was white color...GOD DAMM IT..!!!!

I WANT TO GO HOME NOW...but i can't..coz i have no transport and i dun know where the hell i am..and i dun see any cabs around..i'm fucking stuck here with these monkeys and crappy cake..

i have no choice but to blend in..

"ok now u have seen how i present right?.." the next one you try..

and so i did..

"layer cake..RM 10.00..no?..ok bye." - and this carry on for the next 10 or so customers..

surprisingly some people will actually take out RM 10 to buy the cake...and when they say "yea..ok...gimme one box.."
i was like.." are you serious? "..
then the guy said.."yea...of coz..why?"..
i just keep my mouth shut and take the money and give him the stupid layer cake..
and i was telling myself.." marvelous...there's actually ppl who wants to buy this kinda cake for RM 10."

then the ah beng said to me."manson..you cannot present like this..you must follow the way i did mar...and why u go tell the fella "are you serious?" when he wanna buy?...if he wanna buy..we should ask him to buy more.."

ma ka hai....

i cannot take this shit anymore...firstly, i was cheated...got fucked right in the ass...i am in my best suit and now a wet suit..i'm sweating like a pig..and my hair is a disaster...i have to carry all these stupid cakes walk around the hot sun looking like a hard labourer who wears the wrong type of clothes to work..

me: "look..i apply for an IT job...not selling cake ok?..your company cheated me and ur boss lied to me...i will not do this anymore ok??..take ur cakes...i'm leaving.."
Beng: oh is that right?..too bad..you have to finish this whole box of cake only you can go..
me: oh really??..fine..i'll finish the cake..watch me...( i walk up to the nearest drain...and i throw all the cakes into the drain..) - yup..that's what i did..and of coz..by doing that..i am prepared to be in a big fight...i dun give a shit that time as my anger and the heat from the weather is taking over me..
Beng: ma hai...what the fuck u doing?.. - started pushing me..and soon 2 more so called colleague join in...
me: what you gonna do you piece of shit?..you wanna go??..bring it on...all three of you..COME AT ONE GO..dun waste time..COME...COME!!...

I was yelling at the top of my lungs...

nothing happen..as i expected..so i just left the place...walk my way out to the nearest main road..waited for fucking 30 mins or so and manage to get a cab. I told the cab driver to get me back to the office...coz i'm gonna screw the boss too..

got back to the office around noon...stomped into the office...saw the boss was smoking...i told him off by yelling at him that he's a fucking liar and will meet his maker soon..

and the fucker told me " you dun want the job??..that's fine...lots of ppl are waiting..good luck in getting an IT job.."

no doubt during that time the market was flooded with IT professionals..but i can live without a job still..

"fuck you...i dun need ur fucking job..its a conned job anyway..i can survive..and i will bring this matter to the press..!"

so i just left..and of coz i will not waste my time in complaning the matter to the press...called my dad to pick me up and told him what happen..

he laugh at me..

Just fucking great..!!

so much for my first job experience..

Till next blog..

I'm Mr Chan signing off - ah Ju Ju...you dun understand..Ju Ju..