Knock Knock...Who's there??

"hello...this is Joe.."

Who's Joe? ..Exactly..who's Joe?..

"i found this necklace at the bottom of the ocean after my ex (the old lady) dump it into the ocean...Luv - Joe" (Refer to "Winter's out..Summer's In)...again..Who's Joe??...goddammit...!!..Enuff already...tell me who the fuck is Joe!!

Alright..alright...actually..i dunno much about Joe .. i mean..i was not close to him but he was close to us...well..we know Joe better with "Just another Julie's fling"

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hmm..
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Anyway..Joe is one of Je's and Juls and #3's church member..i dunno his full name..or did he ever mentioned his full name before??..i dun even know his surname...anyway...not that i'm very close to him to know his surname...he comes around our house once awhile to visit or to pick someone up (hmmm....i wonder who..)..or sometimes he come over for church meeting / activities..

Joe's a chinese but has been in Aust for a very long time now...so i think he's an aussie already...PR or citizen??..i dunno...if ya wanna know..pls dial 1-800-I-am-Julie for more info...

Alright now..here are some brief description of how Joe looks like (in case u wonder)..He's tall..normal looking guy...side parted hair style...wears nothing but Polo T...i've never seen him wear a short pants or a bermuda before...always on his jeans or slacks..with his shirt tucked in to the height of his chest...speaks in heavy aussie accent..(maybe due to the number of years he has been in Aust.)...sometimes i dunno what the hell he's talking about??..

Joe: Manson...anjsfnhinkfj2nhi3jn 83uho difhbv kh382 ihfo8wu??
Me: .......
Me: HAHAHAA..yea yea...that was funny isn't it..man i love it..
Joe: ...???...
Joe: i said..djhvdijhiwclunh 384y28y 8rhfahxcb afgb jshfu828!$^?
Me: yea yea..that's right..yea...hmmmm...yea...
Joe: .......

sometimes he try to talk like us with those "lar" "lor" "ar" "sah" pah" "far" "nah" "kan na sai" but fail..but we know he's just trying to be nice..

He's very quite...He's very soft spoken...speak in a gentle voice..he's very polite (at least i have never heard a single "fuck" out of his mouth)..ok..now..combine a guy who speaks softly with a gentle voice and politely like...damm fucking formal..what do u get??..a weirdo...kinda creepy and freaks u out sometimes..makes u uncomfortable and uncivilize

i have met ppl like this before..they speak politely..bla bla bla..all these formal shit...but once u get to know them...their true colors reveal.."Oi...Kan ni Nae..yam cha never call me..u wan me to rape u izzit??..i'll fuck ure ass so hard that u'll beg me to take a blowjob instead.."...yea...

but for Joe...even if u know him for years...he'll still talk the same...a complete gentlement..don't you think?..Now imagine mixing Joe with Kan Na Sai Carol (Refer to The "Company" and The "Noise" Part II)..what do u get..??..an ear bleeding Joe...

Carol: kan na sai joe i tell u arr..that day ar...i try to leap over this drain hor..then arr...the next thing i know ar...i was in the drain hor...kan na sai...si beh tu lan u know..??
Joe: oh really...my god..that was horrible...are you alright now Carol?
Carol: ..aiyahh..small matter lar...i got so much meat...can tahan one..
Joe: i'm glad to hear that..
Carol: but arr...i tell u arr..that's not the worse part u know...when i try to lift myself up arr...kan na sai...i step onto some dog shit ok??..damm stink..
Joe: hahaha...that's terrible..
Carol: and then arr....(and it goes for 54 min and 42 sec.)
Joe: *ear bleeding...*
Carol: *continue for another 40 mins*
Joe: *looking pale..and not wanting to be rude...keeps nodding his head to every comment from carol..*
Carol: *continue for another 15 mins*
Joe: * fainted and admitted to hospital that night due to excessive blood lost from his ear.*
Carol: * still continuing her drama in the hospital next to Joe*
Joe: .....coma.....
Carol: Joe??...Joe??...eh kan nar sai..u listening or not??...why so rude wann..ppl talk u sleep..!!

i remember the first time i met Joe...the way he introduce himself was so formal..

Joe: hello Manson...my name is Joe..Nice to meet you..
Manson: *..wahh...so formal one ar??...* Hi Joe..nice to meet you too..

U know...for ppl like us...how do we meet and shake hands?...i would say very casual..

Manson: Hey..how are u..i'm Manson
Somebody: hi..i'm bla bla bla..

end of story..

If there's a group of ppl..Joe would be introducing himself and shake hands with each and everyone...unlike the normal stuff of "Hey guys..i'm manson".."hey..i'm bla bla bla.." and same goes with the other by introducing their name and just wave their hands...but for Joe...

"Hello..my name is Joe..nice to meet you.." *shake hand*
"Hello..my name is Joe..nice to meet you.." *shake hand*
"Hello..my name is Joe..nice to meet you.." *shake hand*
"Hello..my name is Joe..nice to meet you.." *shake hand*
.....i think u get the picture.....

ok now so what has Joe gotta do with Julie? and what's with the footnote??..

Now of all of us...Joe seems to be very close to Juls...he talk to Juls alot and most of the time did not take his eyes off Juls..(we know juls..we have been monitoring Joe)..so we thought that Joe likes Juls...we dunno how true it is...we have to ask Joe one day but it really looks like it.....sometimes Joe would call Juls just to have a casual chat or just to check what she's doing and does she need any help on it?

*tuuut..tuuut..*
Juls: yelloowww..
Joe: Hello Julis...this is Joe..how are you today on this lovely evening..(heavy aust accent)
Juls: * what??...* hi joe..yea...i'm fine..wassup...
Joe: the sky is up..ha ha ha..(heavy aust accent)
Juls: .....
Joe: now actually i call just to have a casual chat with you if you don't mind..(heavy aust accent)
Juls: ....
Juls: actually i'm kinda busy right now Joe...i'm plucking my arm pit hair...
Joe: *..sniiiiiifffffffffffffffffffffffffffff.........*
Juls: ??..what's that sound??..
Joe: ..oh nothing..would u like me to help you out with that?....(heavy aust accent)
Juls: ...* faking an operator's voice" the number you have dial is out of reach..pls..
Je: *in the background..* Juls...where is the shaver??..my bulu kaki is as long as Mr Chan's one already man...
Juls: EH WAIT AR..SHUDDUP FIRST...pls try again later or pls leave a message after the tone..BEEEPPP..
Joe: oh...that's funny??....(heavy aust accent)..*recoding his voice msg..* hi Julie..sorry..the reason i call actually is to ask you whether would u like to join me for a dinner at King's Park tomorrow night...i'll call you again...thanks bye..
Juls: OK bah bye..
Joe: ...?????...wow..the automated computer recognise "bye" ??

So Juls freak out and at the same time feeling excited because
1. Juls dun really like Joe because he freaks her out
2. Juls have not been to the hill top restaurant in King's Park before..

so she was running around the house asking us whether should she go or not..and we said well..its just dinner and most importantly..its FREE..hahahhaha..

but Juls was reluctant to go for the dinner and yet was choosing her dress already...

eventually..she went on the date with Joe...

it was a romantic candle light dinner with a violinist playing over and over again to "my heart will go on - by celine dion - One of Juls many favourite - standing beside their table...as usual..being the formal Joe...dress in his best suit..( like one of those Lampe Berger motherfuckers...but Joe ain't a member...at least during that time..)..
they ordered the finest wine and steaks..the food's good..the wine's excellent..some casualconversation...mostly of Joe asking about Jul's stuff and life..like...how's study?..how are you housemates treating u?...who's Merv??..what does he look like...??...what does he like?...did he have a girf friend??..surprisingly...many of those questions are about Merv..well..maybe Joe knows that Merv is very close with Juls so just wanna get more info who he is competing with...

Joe: I have a gift for you Julie..a thank you gift for joining me in this dinner
Juls: really??..nah..i cannot take this Joe..its nothing really..i'm just here for the free food..*munch munch munch...sllluurrppppppsssssss...*
Joe: ...
Joe: pls..i insist..* Joe open the box to show Julie the gift...*
Juls: * stop munching..*..ohhh..its beautiful..but wait a minute..isn't this...
Joe: Yes it is..
Juls: but i tot the old lady drop it in the ocean in the end...
Joe: i went down and got it...
Juls: awwwww..u shouldn't have Joe...
Joe: ....
Juls: but i'll take it anyway....nice eh??..

and so the dinner carry on with more wines and some slow dance...

*tuut tuuut*

Juls: Yellow..*hick..*..
Mr Chan: eh juls ar...hows ure dinner...?
Juls: THE SHIP IS SINKING...HELPP..JOE..HELP ME..
Mr Chan: ......
Mr Chan: are u drunk...?..anyway...the rest of us is going Mc Dong Dong ok?..u got keys right??
Juls: tu tu tuuuuuu...tu tu tuuuu..tuuuuuuuuu..*humming to the titanic theme..*
Mr Chan: ......
Mr Chan: Come to McDs if u got no key...byeee....

Mr Chan: ..*after putting down the phone...turn to Je*..i think they are role playing Jack and Rose..
Je: ......

getting late now and time to go home and so Joe fetch Juls home...while at the porch..still inside the car...

Juls: thanks for dinner Joe..it was wonderful..and its Free..yay...and thanks for the lovely necklace..you shouldn't have..really..
Joe: its nothing Julie..don't worry about it and thank you for coming to dinner with me...i am sorry but can i use ur toilet?
Juls: sure..c'mon in...
Joe: *rush to the toilet and do his thing...*..a sigh of relief...and as Joe walking towards the door to go home...
Juls: Joe..*walks out of her room .. strap herself only with a shower towel..
Joe: ...*gulp...*...yes Julie..?
Juls: I want you to draw a potrait of me wearing this *showing the necklace..*
Joe: *gulp...*
Juls: wearing only this *..fllllaaappppppbbbtt.. - tower drops on the floor..*

*background music - do do doooooo...do do doooo do do doooooooooo..*titanic theme..*

after that..we do not know what happen after the "art" class...and that's the story behind the self portrait of Juls - naked - with a footnote "i found this necklace at the bottom of the ocean after my ex (the old lady) dump it into the ocean...Luv - Joe"...actually...during my room invasion..i miss the part where i actually took the potrait and make a copy of it...i'll post it here once i get my new scanner...

when i examine the potrait again...i found a small little additional note too..

"P.S. I'm lovin it.."

i tought to myself...P.S...a postscript...why??..I'm lovin it.. what does that means...(Note: this has nothing to do with McD's tag line "I'm lovin it" because that wasn't McD's tagline yet..)

until today...i finally know what the postscript means...P.S itself does not stands for "Postscript"...but what other meaning does it hold..?...

inspired by the Da Vinci Code - Thanks Juls for borrowing me the book - alittle bit of info - at the place where the curator got murdered...he wrote down a note beside himself which reads "P.S: Find Robert Langdon" and that P.S actually a initial of the victim's grand-daughter name Sophie...ok..so the letter "S" stands for Sophie...what about "P"..well...Sophie has a nick name when she was young...her grandfather call her princess...and so.."P" means Princess...and now we have "Princess Sophie: Find Robert Langdon"

ok now...so what?..P.S: I'm lovin it means Princess Sophie: I'm lovin it??...it doesn't make sense...of coz it does not make any sense...i said inspired...so the P.S from Joe's note actually stands for "Pussy Shaved: i'm lovin it"

but how do you know it stands for "Pussy Shaved"?

maybe next time i''ll let you know...

ba dab dab ba daaaaaa....i'm lovin it..*Mcd's theme...*

Till next blog..

I'm Mr Chan signing off - ah Ju Ju...you dun understand..Ju Ju..