Monday, May 22, 2006

Hole at the bottom

What now you must be wondering. No no it's not that our house has a hole at the bottom.. Read on and the title will explain itself.

On a normal winter night, housemates were gathering around the dining table playing chor tai ti as usual. Looks like that winter night wasn't exactly Mr. Chan's night as he kept losing to everyone of us including Juls. What a pity.

Mr. Chan: Cit! I lose again?! Blardy... this is not possible!! Need to kau feng shui a bit...
Je: Cut the crap and faster shuffle the cards...
#3: Yah lar! We dun have all night ok...
Juls: Actually we got whole night lor... unless we are going to McDong Dong again later....
Je: Can also... Mr. Chan can take some fresh air after losing to the gals so many many times today...

And so the conversation went on and on except that no one notice that Mr. Chan was stretching and stretching... doing all those errr who knows feng shui moves thinking that it'll help him to win... Suddenly...

*pppprrrraaaaatttttt*

Juls: What's that sound??? Ewww... I think someone farted...
Merv: *From inside the room* Not me mm kay...
Je: Aiyoh... cover the nose first in case....
#3: I don't smell anything la coz my nose block as usual....

All attention was fixed on Mr. Chan as he was quiet after the sound was heard....

Mr. Chan: *Face turned red* Hehehe.... the sound was from me alrite.....
All three: Ewwwww!!!!
Mr. Chan: But but.... I did not fart....
Juls: Right!! Then you explain to us la... Don't tell us your feng shui moves let out that kinda sound...
#3: Dear.... what's wrong?
Je: If you give us some stoopid answer... we'll throw you out of the house...
Mr. Chan: Hehehe.... I was stretching and stretching and stretching and suddenly I realize that I stretch soooo hard that... arr.... now... arr... my pants koyak at the bottom.
Juls: Really meh?? Show show...
Mr. Chan: Juls pls... no free show here ok..... In case you are thinking of getting an orgasm...
#3: Dear, see see.... *Mr. Chan showed* Wah.... that's a big hole down there....
Je: Good la... air can go in.. cooling mar...
Mr. Chan: RIGHT!!!

After the commotion, the housemates continued with their chor tai ti....

Merv: Wei, jom rokok!
Mr. Chan: Mari pegi...
Je: Sien la you...

Outside the house...

Mr. Chan: Wei Je, you are right la... darn cooling.... freezing my balls off la ok!!!
Merv: Hahahahaha!!! I think I also want to dig a hole there la... for easy access also...
Juls: ..........
Je: Ice cream anyone?
#3: Ok!
Mr. Chan: Wei... cannot la... by the time I reach McD I won't feel my balls anymore la wei... sejuk la...
Juls: Always wanna be hero... take off your pants and walk there la...
Mr. Chan: Eh Juls.... don't go and dare me ok...

Well, we all thought that Mr. Chan would have stopped wearing that torn pants... After all it's already quite old and the fact that it's now torn at the bottom... it's quite embarassing when visitors come by and he'll be pulling his pants trying to cover up his balls... and our visitors will think that he's a pervert or something....

As days go by... the hole got bigger until such time his butt started to show... What a sight!!! Other than #3, I do not think anyone of us would actually enjoy that... until one day...

Je: Eh, I can't stand it anymore... Take off your pants now!!
Mr. Chan: Err... why la? Calm down Je... I know you lonely but don't go and ask me to take off my pants la...
Je: Cacat! What lonely? I said take off your pants....
#3: Err... Je? Are you ok? You want me bibi to take off his pants??
Je: Aiseh... *walk to her room and back in minutes* I wanna fix it la ok.... *showing needle and thread*
Mr. Chan: Dear, you fix la for me...
#3: But I do not know how wor...
Mr. Chan: Everyday only know how to comb baby-h and baby-p's fur. Never take care of me also.... Now ask you to do something for me also you dunno... What do you know?
Je: So want or not?
Mr. Chan: Ok ok... let me go change first can or not... don't expect me to just take it off here...
Je: Your butt is showing already.... no difference also..
Juls: Yah lar... might as well take off.... No need to see a bit a bit... see all la!
Merv: Come arr... lets compare...

Mr. Chan ran to the room to change and came back with his torn pants... Je started to sew the part where it's torn... #3 watch closely...

Je: Err... no need to sit so close wan lor...
#3: Hehehe.... you are fixing his pants... so funny... confirm having an affair...
Mr. Chan: Eh! I asked you to fix but you dunno... have to ask my affair partner to do it la!!
Juls: Good thing fcuk buddy not involved...
Merv: What what?? Juls, fix my pants also...
Juls: But your pants not torn there also....
Merv: My boxers got hole in front mar... you can sew it shut...
Juls: Err.... ok lor.... Je, pinjam thread...
Je: Take la... take la...

And so... Mr. Chan's hole at the bottom was fixed and visitors who came by after that did not see him grabbing his erm... there anymore...

Till next time..

I'm housemate no. 2 signin off - Take care of yourself and... each other

5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

hahahaha..yea...i totally forgot about this..thanks for reminding Je!!...good one..

yea...i think later i got myself a new track - from NIKE outlet..then..the old ADIDAS kasi buang...hahahaha...darn it..really lar...Je..ure like our mom...hahahahhaha

itu tak guna punya #3...apa lan chiau pun tak tau bikin..

5:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wei... you din buy a new pair from nike la... you simply wear #3's nike pants that's all. i have a similar pair too and now, my bro wears it... hehehe

6:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

no no..i did..i bought a new pair of tracks from NIKE. I still have it now..because it is alittle too long..so i did not wear it as often..

i got prove..i got prove..!!!..:(

9:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Confirm got affair di these two..

Did I actually sew Merv's pants ar?

No la.. I din.. I just cooked for him, washed his clothes, cleaned for him, picked up his dirty laundry, arranged his shoes/slippers, made half boiled eggs for him, made his bed, brushed his teeth (no la.. I did not) oni mah.. that's all..

Mr. Chan.. count yourself lucky you did not have to do that for #3 ok.. hahahaha..

10:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hehehe....

No la.. I din.. I just cooked for him, washed his clothes, cleaned for him, picked up his dirty laundry, arranged his shoes/slippers, made half boiled eggs for him, made his bed, brushed his teeth (no la.. I did not) oni mah.. that's all..

really??..is that all??..what about cleaning #3's mess.??..picking up her "wan ton"s??

i don't mind doing all these if its worth it..else..fuck u lar..

9:48 AM  

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