Anything but boring..

Every time I tell somebody that I went to Perth to study.. the first thing they'll say is.. "Perth? Wah.. I hear very boring one wor..."

Then, I'll always reply.. "Boring? No way! It all depends on who you hang out with, man. With friends like mine.. wanna be bored also cannot." Well, yeah at times we will be bored la.. but we'll always find ways to amuse ourselves.. and irritate each other.

Seriously.. Imagine living in the same house with 3 other weirdos... It is damn fucking fun can. Lemme give you some examples..

Scenario ONE
So, we're sitting around the dining table..

Just finished like the 20th round of Chor Tai Tee.. and we'll be sien la.. (come on, play 20 rounds d.. and keep on losing/winning.. U say sien or not?)

Je: Wei.. sien ar.. dun wanna play d la, win until sien d.
Juls: Yeah la.. dammit. tamau main la.
Mr. Chan: Huh? Dun wanna play.. then what you wanna do?

Je: Dunno..
Juls: ....
Mr. Chan: ....
#3: (Still wrecking havoc in Sportsgirl where Mr. Chan and Je last left her)

Je: Eh eh eh.. I know I know.. Mr. Chan u amuse us ar.. there.. sing Macy Gray...
Mr. Chan: Macy Gray? U think I what? Clown ar?
Juls & Je: (nodding vigorously)
Mr. Chan: KANASAI! OK LA!

Mr. Chan: (taking a deep breath)

"I try to say good bye and I choke (hey)
Try to walk away and I stumble...
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near"

Je & Juls: ....... MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHA
Juls: (wiping tears of laughter) Wah.. damn.. you really sound like Macy Gray leh. I think if I closed my eyes and listen to you sing.. I'd be thinking that I'm listening to Macy Gray LIVE!
Je: (nod nod nod)

And after that we'll get him to impersonate Jackie Cheung, Andy Lau, Michael Jackson and more Macy Gray.

Thus, an afternoon of guaranteed, hilarious fun.

Scenario TWO
So, it’s like a Saturday or something… we’ve just woken up and had breakfast.

And now, we’re sitting around with nothing to do.

Je: Eh.. what are we doing ar today?
Juls: (washing dishes) Dunno.. what do you all wanna do?
#3: Let’s go shopping…

Everybody: (SHOUTING in unison) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Mr. Chan: (switching on the TV) Eh.. eh eh.. check this out!

Jerry Springer: Good morning ladies and gentlemen.. Today we have a very, very special line up for you.

Jerry: This is John.. John.. how are you today?

John: Hey Jerry I am fine..

Jerry: As you can see folks.. John is a midget. So John.. why are you here today?

John: Well Jerry, I’m here today because.. well.. I have something to confess.. I want to come clean.. with the love of my life.. Julianna.

Jerry: Come clean? Confess? Wow, John.. sounds like you’ve been a naughty naughty boy..

John: Oh.. well yeah Jerry.. Really depends on what you mean by naughty.

Mr. Chan: Wow fuck.. the midget is gonna confess something.. come and see come and see!

John: You see Jerry.. I’m a man.. and a man has needs. Yeah, I’m a small man.. but some parts are.. errmm.. what I’d like so say.. is.. I’m normal sized.. at some ‘parts’ if you know what I mean.

Jerry: OK ok.. yes John I know what you mean.. you're saying you have a big Johnson yes? Ok.. let's get a move on..

John: Anyway, so.. I have needs.. and this chick of mine.. Julianna.. well she sometimes cannot handle my needs. So.. needless to say.. I gotta go else where.

Jerry: Right……. So you’re gonna confess to Julianna today.

John: Yeah..

Jerry: Ok folks, let’s give a huge welcome to Julianna!

(clap clap clap clap clap)

Jerry: Hi Julianna!

Jul: Hi Jerry! And oh Hi baby! (kissing John on the top of his head)

Jerry: So Julianna, John tells us that you guys have been together for quite a while.

Jul: Yeah yeah we have.. in fact we’re about to get married next month.

Jerry: Oh really.. how sweet.. Well.. let’s get on with this then shall we? John you said that you had something to confess to Julianna.

John: Yeah I do..
(Taking Julianna’s hands.. looking into her eyes)

John: Ju ju…. Listen to me. You don’t understand.. But.. I think.. I’m too much man for you. I know you can’t handle me… That’s why.. I did what I did.

Jul: What did you do baby?

John: I…… I slept with your sister………’s, best friend’s, boy friend’s, mother’s, brother’s, step-sister’s, nephew’s, grandfather’s, wife.

Jul: What? You bastard! (Grand) motherf**ker! (starts throwing chairs, mikes, mikestands…… etc)

Jerry: Well, there you have it folks.. never underestimate a small guy. Till next time, take care of yourself and of each other..

Mr. Chan: Fuck.. that was good shit.
Je & Juls: (nod nod nod nod)

And thus, the rest of the afternoon is spent yakking about Jerry Springer.

Scenario THREE
So, it's like a hot, hot afternoon la...

No classes, everybody's home (by everybody I mean Je, Mr. Chan, me and #3.... maybe even Merv).

Juls: Fuck it's damn hot.. and we ran outta beer.
Je: (Sitting on the cool tiles of the kitchen floor.. in a pile of rubbish.. her favourite pastime) Yaaa... very hot.. and bored.
Mr. Chan: (Sprawled across the dining table.. whacking the bloody Aussie flies) I'm dying... I'm dying of boredom.. help me..
#3: (Keeping herself amused by playing make up artist with Baby H and Baby P..) Come Baby H.. mummy make you pretty pretty.. like mummy ok?

Merv: Let's play Diablo LAN.. wan or not.. wan or not?
Everybody: (shouting in unison) NO!

Everybody: (Sitting, sprawling, lying down all around the house waiting for something to do.. or something to happen, or for someone to say something)

Je: Ehhhh.. it's 6.. come let's go to the playground!
Everybody: (exclaimed in unison) OK!

Je: No.. #3.. u cannot come.. U have to stay home and finish up all the donuts..
#3: (protesting)
Je: No... I dun care.. whether you feed Baby H or Baby P or you eat them all yourself.. when I come home you have to finish them ALL. Or else..... I'm taking away your MAC foundation.
#3: OK OK OK...

(Afterthought - Damn.. Je.. we should have done this la. Then maybe she'll finish all her fucking donuts)

So, everybody (except #3) troops out of the house and heads towards the park.

There we will swing on the swings, climb the monkey bars, fly from post to post (remember that thing where we'll grab the bar and fly across one... like mini flying fox) and go up and down on the see-saw and laughter would be heard throughout the entire street...

Those were the days man… hahaha.. Damn.. I miss playing in the freaking playground with you guys.

Everybody: Awwwwwwwww……..

This is Housemate #1 - Juls a.k.a tea addict signing off.