The Simple Life
It’s been a while since someone actually blog something. At the moment, it seems like only Juls and myself are keeping the blog alive. I wonder why?
Nothing much happened since Juls’ last blog. Camel is still as camel as can be. Mr. Cherry Berry Chan is still stuck in some forsaken caveland praying for civilization so that someday he can have access to some Internet connection. We’ve stopped sending hate mail to him knowing that he’ll probably take another century before he gets to read those messages.
Anyway, here’s an update:
Apr
Both Mr. Chan and I attended a close friend’s engagement party at this place called Marketplace where people who love doing marketing meet together to discuss on the best place to go marketing. The place is kinda hidden. It’s one of those places where you don’t really want people to know where you are. But don’t get me wrong, our close friend is really decent. She’s just a bit twisted in the head that’s all.
So, before the party, both Mr. Chan and I went hunting for pressie. I mean it's not nice to attend a close friend's engagement party empty handed. After picking him up from him house, he told me that he has lost his wallet.
Mr. Chan: Pukimek I lost my wallet. Technically.
Je: When? Where?
Mr. Chan: At this bank in 15 la. I only realise that I lost it as I was driving on the main road d. Then I U-turn balik to look for it. I found my wallet but they money I just withdrew... Gone! I asked the nearby security guard and he said "tak tau". I suspect he took it!
Je: Aiyoh... But the good thing is your IC and everything else is there?
Mr. Chan: But I took out the rest of my money from the bank. So now, I'm penniless.
Je: Aww... so poor thing.
We arrived at 1-U not long after the sad news and started our shopping. We went to this shop called Ruums and checked out some of their items.
Mr. Chan: Eh, you think she would like a Dildo?
Je: For what? That could be an insult ok. She's got her husband mar.
Mr. Chan: Oh yeah. What bout some hand cuffs? Or dog chain? Or... eh check this out... Chocolate spray? Coool!!
Je: .....
Mr. Chan: Look at this police uniform... Got holes all over it... What you think?
Je: I think I'll get there for you when you are engaged.
Mr. Chan: Promise arr. Thanks!
Je: How bout these pillow cases? They need to sleep anyway.
Mr. Chan: "I like your fat ass”. Eh eh… how’s this? Boleh?
Je: No.
Mr. Chan: “Lick me”. Eh eh.. this one speaks about her man. Haha!
Je: …
Mr. Chan: “Make love not war”
Je: That sounds a bit more decent.
Mr. Chan: She not so decent lor.
Je: Well ya but her husband is.
Mr. Chan: Ok lor. Who pay arr?
Well, knowing that Mr. Chan is penniless, Je did the right thing.
After paying for it we decided to go for a drink.
Je: Wei, I buy you drink la you no money.
Mr. Chan: Can you buy me lunch, dinner and supper as well?
Je: ……
Not long after that came the day of the party.
The party was pretty cool. The couple and the people there were pretty cool too, especially when they invited people like us to the party. Ahheeemmm!! Except for erm… camel. Well, she got invited to the party as well together with her partner, who sat with us all night listening to our bull-shit stories. Mr. Chan was absolutely delighted to see her there. I mean, after such a long time. It’s good to see some really old flame, catch up a lil and who knows…..
We also managed to catch up with other old friends, in particular this one person whose name is… let’s call her ‘S’ who ended up talking bull-shit stuff with Mr. Chan all night long. That really kept us entertained the whole night long.
E.g. of a bull-shit conversation is as below:
Mr. Chan: Eh, I heard arr… someone is still bujang lapuk arr… (Referring to his old flame)
S: Bujang lapuk? Please more like bujang reput la! You blind is it?
Mr. Chan: Am-Bank mar…. *theng theng theng theng theng theng theng theng
Also, Mr. Chan recalled a conversation he had with S earlier that week. More like a prank call he did on her:
Mr. Chan: (Disguising as someone else) Hello is that Miss S? The platinum card you applied for is ready… Kindly pick it up at our bank located at….
S: Wait a min. I did not apply for any platinum card. What kind of bank is that? Do you give your card away freely?
Mr. Chan: We are a decent bank. I have your application form right in front of me and you signed it. I can fax it right back to you.
S: When did I apply? Are you sure it’s not forged? Who was the sales person?
Mr. Chan: I’m sorry ma’am; I’m only in charge of calling the customer. But if you would like, I can give you my supervisor’s name and telephone number.
S: (Sounding really pissed now) Give it to me now!
Mr. Chan: His name is spelled: M.A.N.S.O.N. C.
S: Manson Chan Keng Yew!!! F**k man!!
During the bull-shit session, camel was seen busy ‘entertaining’ the guests as though it’s her engagement party. She went round taking photos of people and once in a while she’ll interrupt the session, “Come come, take picture….” “Stand up la” “You and Mr. Chan take together…” “Come group photo, group photo…” Till today, I've not seen single photo that she took on that night.
Her partner was seated together with us that whole time and once in a while he’ll give a comment or two as she went round ‘entertaining’ the guests. At times he simply appeared to be non-existent. Poor guy.
That’s the highlight for April.
May
I was away at Cameron Highlands for some company thing. It’s a yearly affair where people get together to eat, drink and be merry. We’ve got everything planned out perfectly until when we got there because it rained day and night the whole time we were there. Hence, we have to do more indoors than outdoors. But the good thing was I still get to enjoy my tea and scones at the Smokehouse and subsequently at the BOH tea plantation. It was a good time to relax to a certain extend.
There were a few interesting events that captured my attention. On the way to Cameron, we stop at this rest house to pee and rest. My colleague found a wallet belonging to someone else with some money and a torn photograph in it. Initially he was thinking of taking it and that he was lucky to be able to find money to spend at Cameron. But being a civilized person, I told him not to take it due to a few reasons: The person could be looking for it, a curse could follow the person who took it (the torn photograph) and it’s bad to take things that do not belong to you. He reluctantly put it back. I took a picture of it. Feel free to view it:
On the way down from Cameron, we stopped at an Orang Asli hut as my colleague was really interested in taking a picture of the old and traditional looking house. When asked if he could take a picture, the Orang Asli asked for money and in return will pose for the photographer like a professional model. With his dark looking feature and short and stubby body, we pass.
Not long after that incident, we saw some girls holding umbrellas squatting by the side of the road. Curious to know what’s going on, we stopped the car and got down to find that the girls were actually releasing themselves. My boss tried to take a picture of them but to no avail. Too bad, Mr. Chan no photos of pretty girls releasing themselves behind the bushes. All you get is this:
Phtographer in action
Nothing much happened since Juls’ last blog. Camel is still as camel as can be. Mr. Cherry Berry Chan is still stuck in some forsaken caveland praying for civilization so that someday he can have access to some Internet connection. We’ve stopped sending hate mail to him knowing that he’ll probably take another century before he gets to read those messages.
Anyway, here’s an update:
Apr
Both Mr. Chan and I attended a close friend’s engagement party at this place called Marketplace where people who love doing marketing meet together to discuss on the best place to go marketing. The place is kinda hidden. It’s one of those places where you don’t really want people to know where you are. But don’t get me wrong, our close friend is really decent. She’s just a bit twisted in the head that’s all.
So, before the party, both Mr. Chan and I went hunting for pressie. I mean it's not nice to attend a close friend's engagement party empty handed. After picking him up from him house, he told me that he has lost his wallet.
Mr. Chan: Pukimek I lost my wallet. Technically.
Je: When? Where?
Mr. Chan: At this bank in 15 la. I only realise that I lost it as I was driving on the main road d. Then I U-turn balik to look for it. I found my wallet but they money I just withdrew... Gone! I asked the nearby security guard and he said "tak tau". I suspect he took it!
Je: Aiyoh... But the good thing is your IC and everything else is there?
Mr. Chan: But I took out the rest of my money from the bank. So now, I'm penniless.
Je: Aww... so poor thing.
We arrived at 1-U not long after the sad news and started our shopping. We went to this shop called Ruums and checked out some of their items.
Mr. Chan: Eh, you think she would like a Dildo?
Je: For what? That could be an insult ok. She's got her husband mar.
Mr. Chan: Oh yeah. What bout some hand cuffs? Or dog chain? Or... eh check this out... Chocolate spray? Coool!!
Je: .....
Mr. Chan: Look at this police uniform... Got holes all over it... What you think?
Je: I think I'll get there for you when you are engaged.
Mr. Chan: Promise arr. Thanks!
Je: How bout these pillow cases? They need to sleep anyway.
Mr. Chan: "I like your fat ass”. Eh eh… how’s this? Boleh?
Je: No.
Mr. Chan: “Lick me”. Eh eh.. this one speaks about her man. Haha!
Je: …
Mr. Chan: “Make love not war”
Je: That sounds a bit more decent.
Mr. Chan: She not so decent lor.
Je: Well ya but her husband is.
Mr. Chan: Ok lor. Who pay arr?
Well, knowing that Mr. Chan is penniless, Je did the right thing.
After paying for it we decided to go for a drink.
Je: Wei, I buy you drink la you no money.
Mr. Chan: Can you buy me lunch, dinner and supper as well?
Je: ……
Not long after that came the day of the party.
The party was pretty cool. The couple and the people there were pretty cool too, especially when they invited people like us to the party. Ahheeemmm!! Except for erm… camel. Well, she got invited to the party as well together with her partner, who sat with us all night listening to our bull-shit stories. Mr. Chan was absolutely delighted to see her there. I mean, after such a long time. It’s good to see some really old flame, catch up a lil and who knows…..
We also managed to catch up with other old friends, in particular this one person whose name is… let’s call her ‘S’ who ended up talking bull-shit stuff with Mr. Chan all night long. That really kept us entertained the whole night long.
E.g. of a bull-shit conversation is as below:
Mr. Chan: Eh, I heard arr… someone is still bujang lapuk arr… (Referring to his old flame)
S: Bujang lapuk? Please more like bujang reput la! You blind is it?
Mr. Chan: Am-Bank mar…. *theng theng theng theng theng theng theng theng
Also, Mr. Chan recalled a conversation he had with S earlier that week. More like a prank call he did on her:
Mr. Chan: (Disguising as someone else) Hello is that Miss S? The platinum card you applied for is ready… Kindly pick it up at our bank located at….
S: Wait a min. I did not apply for any platinum card. What kind of bank is that? Do you give your card away freely?
Mr. Chan: We are a decent bank. I have your application form right in front of me and you signed it. I can fax it right back to you.
S: When did I apply? Are you sure it’s not forged? Who was the sales person?
Mr. Chan: I’m sorry ma’am; I’m only in charge of calling the customer. But if you would like, I can give you my supervisor’s name and telephone number.
S: (Sounding really pissed now) Give it to me now!
Mr. Chan: His name is spelled: M.A.N.S.O.N. C.
S: Manson Chan Keng Yew!!! F**k man!!
During the bull-shit session, camel was seen busy ‘entertaining’ the guests as though it’s her engagement party. She went round taking photos of people and once in a while she’ll interrupt the session, “Come come, take picture….” “Stand up la” “You and Mr. Chan take together…” “Come group photo, group photo…” Till today, I've not seen single photo that she took on that night.
Her partner was seated together with us that whole time and once in a while he’ll give a comment or two as she went round ‘entertaining’ the guests. At times he simply appeared to be non-existent. Poor guy.
That’s the highlight for April.
May
I was away at Cameron Highlands for some company thing. It’s a yearly affair where people get together to eat, drink and be merry. We’ve got everything planned out perfectly until when we got there because it rained day and night the whole time we were there. Hence, we have to do more indoors than outdoors. But the good thing was I still get to enjoy my tea and scones at the Smokehouse and subsequently at the BOH tea plantation. It was a good time to relax to a certain extend.
There were a few interesting events that captured my attention. On the way to Cameron, we stop at this rest house to pee and rest. My colleague found a wallet belonging to someone else with some money and a torn photograph in it. Initially he was thinking of taking it and that he was lucky to be able to find money to spend at Cameron. But being a civilized person, I told him not to take it due to a few reasons: The person could be looking for it, a curse could follow the person who took it (the torn photograph) and it’s bad to take things that do not belong to you. He reluctantly put it back. I took a picture of it. Feel free to view it:
On the way down from Cameron, we stopped at an Orang Asli hut as my colleague was really interested in taking a picture of the old and traditional looking house. When asked if he could take a picture, the Orang Asli asked for money and in return will pose for the photographer like a professional model. With his dark looking feature and short and stubby body, we pass.
Not long after that incident, we saw some girls holding umbrellas squatting by the side of the road. Curious to know what’s going on, we stopped the car and got down to find that the girls were actually releasing themselves. My boss tried to take a picture of them but to no avail. Too bad, Mr. Chan no photos of pretty girls releasing themselves behind the bushes. All you get is this:
Phtographer in actionThat’s the highlight for May.
June
Too early to talk bout it right now but I’m sure Juls will have lots to tell after erm… I shall leave the story to the story-teller.
Until next time, be good boys and girls!
