Monday, October 01, 2007

As usual la.. The usual gang of idiots

People say.. "a picture speaks a thousand words".. I say.. "Fuck that!" because.. if you think that is very terror.. then what I am about to tell you will blow your mind.

Ready?

Mr. Chan created a NEW LANGUAGE..

It's called.. Mandonese. It is a hybrid combo of Mandarin and Cantonese. Some might call it bullshit.. some might call it bahasa celup.. But.. I call it a freaking masterpiece..

Though I don't think romanizing it for you here will do it any justice.. cuz for the full impact of Mandonese to take effect you've gotta hear if from the horse's.. I mean.. caveman's.. wait.. no.. I meant... Mr. Chan's mouth.

When spoken, was so mind blowing, that it rendered Jelita, Cherry and myself.. speechless... and then.. it moved us to tears.. tears of laughter that is.. So ok.. Lemme TRY and give u an example of some of the phrases Mr. Chan vocalized for us..

*ahem*..

You can try and verbalize on your own..

It's very simple.. when it reads like Mandarin just say the Mandarin word.. but when you get to Cantonese words.. just add a Mandarin slang to it..

Exhibit A:
"Wo ken ni shuor wha, hui pau huet kun ar!"
I speak to you, vein can explode ar!

Exhibit B:
"Wo de huet ngak ee chee shang, ee chee shang ar!"
My blood pressure keep going up, and up ar!

Exhibit C:
"Ni chu cher ni the lao ma ler!"
You go eat your old mother ler!

Exhibit D:
"Ni chu cher ni ter chun tai ler!"
You go eat your ball sacks/balls/bollocks ler!

These are the only ones I remember.. as for the rest, laugh until roll on floor then forget d..

It'll help if Mr. Chan can help contribute to his Mandonese - English Phrasebook.. But then again... I'm sure in the cave got no internet connection one la.. either that or he's too busy talking to his kids.. Baby Pee and Baby Hehtch...

So.. I guess that's all for now folks..

Oh wait... got one more thing..

Meet my new boyfriend.... haha.. Eat your heart out Mr. Chan!

This blog was brought to you by the letters P, the letter H and the number 5 (that's the number of people in the Usual Gang).