Lietz, Cam-era, AKTION!

Norman Street....St. James Park...Curtin..Bentley...Kan na sai Carol...Fremantle...Carousel...Hay Street...CLUB X... Sportsbet...Jerry Springer...Judge Judy (what the fuck?)...Nike Factory Outlet...Subiaco...rumbly in my tumbly..

The Day(s) in Perth

Norman Street, St. James Park
Perth, Western Australia.

8 am: Got up from my bed, freezing my ass off to the toilet to take a leak...oh fuck..where's my balls?..*pheww..*...bla bla bla..the normal morning routine...

8.20 am: dressing up was HELL as all the clothes are fucking cold especially the jeans...gotta get the portable heater into the room and roast my jeans on it.

8.30 am: dressed..finally...and other housemates started their usual morning routine as well..."Morning Mr Chan.."..yup..until today...they still call me Mr Chan...i dunno why.."hey..morning juls"...

Housemate No. 1: Julie a.k.a Juls a.k.a juju a.k.a tea addict a.k.a fcuk buddy..:P

Usually in tha morning...she will walk around the house..really blur and direction-less...dragging her bear (with stiches and patches all over the freakin bear) and still in her PJs'. Probably waiting for her turn to use the toilet as housemate No 2 is using it.

*kronngggssssshhhhhhhhhh.....* that's the sound of housemate no 2 flushing and saying goodbye to her morning poops..

"Eh Mr Chan..so early today?".."yea..je..got class at 10 am lor.."..je being je.."aww...so sad..we go no class today"..."yea yea yea..."

"Rumbly in my tumbly" Je said. "...???..." puzzled me. That basically means ure hungry or u wanna go poo poo...depends which direction you're going forward.

For Je...its hungry most of the time.

I thought to myself..hey...that's cool..something new to say.."Rumbly in my tumbly.." but where the hell she get that from?...and so it goes...

Housemate No. 2: Jelita (yea..that's her real name..and yea...she is exactly what her name says she is - Thanks Je...lunch and dinner on you) a.k.a Je a.k.a kuntum (a pathetic malay comic magazine) a.k.a kuntur (winter melon) a.k.a "Mom" a.k.a The affair partner

8.50 am: making breakfast in the kitchen - most probably cocopops..yea..cereal...but if Je or Juls is cooking..then can tumpang breakfast...slightly better than cereal - indomee with eggs (scramble or mata kerbau) or hams or bacon.

whenever the kitchen is empty...Juls will not waste the opportunity to make herself the morning tea with like...5-6 tea bags and 5-6 table spoon of sugar...certified addict.

9.30 am: off to uni..Curtin...

Curtin University of Technology: very nice...very green...lots of grass, lots of trees, fucking huge...no..there's no cow in curtin...no..there's no cow in perth either...

lots of ppl think that Perth is such a dead place as compare to Melb. Syd, etc..like..fuck...u wake up...open the window to a view of endless grass and farms and some guy sittin' there milking his cow...another guy there bangin' the shit out of his goat...

12.00 pm: same old shit..lectures..tutorial...
2.00 pm: more same old shit...lectures..tutorial...
4.00 pm: ..ZzzzZzzzzzzzZZzzZZzZZzz...

6.00 pm or so: back home where dinner is served. The Cook - no other than Je. Well..sometimes Juls but most of the time...Juls is either on her computer - playing diablo 2 or in front of the TV with her tea.

Je, being our "MOM" always wait for the last of us to come home before serving dinner. Beef stroganoff, chilli concann, pasta, cabornara, bak kut teh, "pak chan" - not for me of coz - are among the favourite dishes.

Rules of the house: Those who did not cook will have to wash the plates and all. As usual, me and Juls will do the washing and cleaning.

Speaking of "pak chan"- some chinese herb medicine for women (blood circulation bla bla bla..whatever) oftens being boil with chicken and an egg (i think).

"Mr Chan you want the egg?".."yea sure...thanks"..

Some 30 mins or so: "FUCK...TISSUEEE....NOSE BLEEDING..QUICK..."

9.00 pm: yea...the "nose bleed" incident did not create any alarming commotion instead Je and Juls laughs hysterically like i'm a fucking clown or something..well..guess i am.

nothing much to do on a weekday's night...laze around in the living room..watching TV...smoke some fags...hoping to catch some "action" on TV. I remember that there's this particular channel which shows some very interesting movies with very interesting "scenes" and we're just waiting for that..

The Living Room: a small coffee table... a 1-seater sofa...a 3-seater sofa...a small pathetic TV (hey...better than nothing)...and of coz...the heater.

We ain't like those rich dudes where they stay in some fancy apartment in some fancy area with central heating system. We have to rely on the heater. If the heater is missing, it is most probably in my room. I use it to toast my jeans in tha morning.

Basically, the heater is just nice for 2 to keep warm but there's 4 of us in tha house...yea...there's another one Housemate No. 3 - but i need not to mention that.

As usual, me, Je and housemate no 3 will sit on the 3-seater sofa will be in front of the heater keeping ourselfs warm...

and Juls (outkast)...
will be by herself on the other sofa...coz there's no more room for her

well...sometimes Juls do have company over...wait...izzit sometimes or most of the time?...

when finally Juls can't stand the cold any longer...she will squuueeezzzeeeee herself into us and share the heater.

11.30 or so: show's over...have a cup of hot tea...smoke some fags...off to bed...

Good times.. :)

To be continue...

I'm Mr Chan signing off - ah Ju Ju...you dun understand..Ju Ju..